Tuesday, May 2, 2017

MARIA AND THE WITCH

1.
Away from here in a magical theatre of a township whose inhabitants were Heroes, Demons, mythical superhuman figures, Dragon-slayers, Demons, Goddesses, Celestial warriors, giants, Angels, Bodhisattvas, dwarfs, crusaders, Elves, Saints, sorcerers, Infernal spirits, Goblins, Knights,  Emperors, Werewolves, the Lotus Lord of Dance, Vampires, the Wise Old Man, the Divine Child, the One, the Trickster, the shape-shifter, the tamer of monsters, the Mother of Gods (sadly no Mother of Dragons), the wanderer and many others, there lived amongst them in total seclusion, a really evil Witch.

The Witch, in her prime, was so evil that she had tamed the Devil as her disciple. But long gone were those days and now she was getting older and her bubbling cauldrons and her magic spells had long lost its charm and her broomstick lay in a corner gathering dust. She was webby and lonely and too weak to hop on her broom stick for a joy ride. For most of the time, she sat by her cold stone fireplace cursing the humans that walked the earth and beyond. She desired company. Someone to talk to. Someone with whom she could share the secrets of her witchcraft and her woeful anecdotes.


And then one fine day, she came across Maria.

2.
Maria was born at the exact time when the sun was eclipsed by the moon. Her timely birth bestowed on her the lunar powers of bewitching people by metamorphosing into whatever people desired to see. For someone she was a cute kitty-cat...for the others she was a mean bitch in the manger.

3.
When Maria, knocked at her door, The Witch, who was busy as usual dreaming about her meal, couldn’t believe her aging eyes. She was too flabbergasted stupefied boggled-over for a moment. For the first time in her life she realised that miracles do actually happen without anyone ever uttering abracadabra. Maria, a lost soul had wandered just a bit too far and tired and starving had stumbled upon the Witch’s Home. (How she got lost in the first place, nobody knows, and I sure wouldn’t know anything about this and I most definitely cannot confirm how she was drugged, wrapped in a garbage bag and dumped in the dumpster which empties the city trash outside its limits. No idea. This I can say to you with first rate certainty.)

Maria wasn’t expecting this.

4.
Maria cried in pain but the Witch was in sing-song mood, busy chopping vegetables and tossing them in the pot as outside it rained. As the oil began to boil, Maria spoke, “If you let me go soon, I will give you the Moon.” The Witch, who was never hitched, was stunned for a moment. She dropped her knife and grabbed Maria by her hair. “How do you dare, girl?”.
“The Moon! It would be yours forever. Let me go or never.”
“And how do you propose, this lie of yours to dispose?”
“I need a boat, yes a boat. A boat that rocks to and fro and is neither too high nor too low. I speak the language of the Moon and can bewitch it to my tunes. I will let it to you, if only this eat-me you won’t do.
“Ah!” The witch said as her heart she itched. “Now you speak like me bitch!”

Having thus explained, the witch thought for a moment. A ball of cheese. A giant ball of cheese. Beneath the dusty setting lay a golden ball of cheese aged to perfection. The witch dropped her knife and rubbed her hands in anticipated glee.
“Halloumi!!”
“I will get the boat”, the witch said.
“Aye Aye!”

5.
Maria Maria rowed the boat till she reached the middle of the lake. It was chilly and the clouds cast eerie shadows as they covered the Moon in the night sky. The Witch was by now too impatient and she couldn’t wait any longer. She had decided to eat Maria once she gets her hand on the Moon. But this was taking way too much time than foreseen. The Witch demanded Maria to get the Moon in quick time or else she will be relished in equally quick time.
Maria was sweating praying hoping that she gets away.  And then, by a miracle of the extraordinary, the clouds parted and there appeared the Moon in the sky in its full bewitching glory.
“Voila!” Maria gaped, totally enamoured by its capturing beauty.
“Now!” said the Witch, “It’s high time.”
Maria extended her hands and brought them together over her head, closed her eyes and mumbled some mumbo jumbo and then she straightened her right hand towards the water and had her index finger extended pointing indicating to the reflection of the moon in the lake.
The Witch’s eyes grew saucer-wide like two full moons on her own face and she wasted no time as she leapt like a frog with wings into the heart of the Moon and landed with a loud splash in the cold calm quiet of the night.

6.
Maria waited for a few seconds. It seemed like an eternity. Timed by the bubbling gurgling of the air bubbles sprouting out from the lake. She was half hoping for the Witch to spring up and catch her by the neck. But soon she came to her senses and picked up the oar and she rowed the boat as fast as she could. “Die Hexe”, she muttered, and never looked back.

7.
Imagine my surprise when Maria knocked at my door. Why! the whisky glass in my hand was not for celebration but a proper case of gloomy despair for her absence!

We never heard from the Witch again. The lake turned black as the night and nobody dared venture toward it to investigate. I meanwhile, sipped my soup with anxious anticipation under the watchful eyes of Maria Maria.

Read also: Death's Angel 

Monday, May 1, 2017

SUPERHERO


I drink copious amounts of alcohol

And shed copious amounts of tears.

I go and watch a movie

But I cannot watch it clear.

Not because I am all teary

But because I forgot my glasses.

Life is still a hazy blur

And so it all just passes.

Sometimes even Superheroes need a day off,

Amidst the struggle of fighting for others.

In retrospect they need to look within

To find strength to work wonders.

And I cry out aloud in pain

Not because I have nightmarish crashes

But because I stubbed my toe

And I need to find my glasses.

Sunday, May 1, 2016

THE PENIS FLYOVER

It happened many years back when he was around 5 or 6 years old. ‘Senior KG, Division B’, he says. It was a hazy morning and he was getting ready to go to School. He loved School. It was fun and he could meet all his friends. His real friends that is! It was the time when he could just be himself.
He had curly hair then, which his father would try to straighten out by pinching his cheeks in a fish-mouth shape and then try hard to straighten it out using the family comb. I say the ‘family comb’ because everybody used it...his mother, father and his grandparents too. But not his sister. She always had her own things, which was good in a way. It avoided a much dreadful sibling fight.
Coming back to the story (I have a bad habit of drifting away quite akin to roving around in dreams), he held his Mom’s hand and was led out of the house. School was a five-minute walk from where he stayed. It was the journey along which made it feel like an hour. Not of the boring sort but in the most amusing way. A child’s mind is free of all malice. It is as pure as the white drifting clouds which forms sundry shapes as it pleases. Curious to the extent to kill a cat nine times...and imaginative enough to know the secrets of the Universe. So, thus every morning, he walked hand in hand with his mother and experienced the joy of the outdoors. Something which only he knew. Out of the house and he hopped on the stairs...Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday but no Sunday as Sunday was a holiday and then onto the sea-road from the footpath-land he leaped and swam across the road to enter the tunnel of darkness where he said his greetings to Lucifer the dog with the wagging-tail and onto fresh sunlight again by the side of the main road wherein people crowded him and it was difficult to breathe so he sank deeper into the water and breathed from his gills. Then he passed the muchad panwallah who was a good man since he always gave him free candy (but made a mark in his Dad’s account) and then the snip-snap of the Gentleman Saloon whose owner was a lady in a burkha and by the Apna Bazaar medical shop which said was 24 hours open but closed at night and by the Preetam Photo Shop with the magical paintings which gleamed three different portraits from three different angles and all the while as he held his mother’s hand and tried to keep pace, there were people growing taller and taller and cars zip-zap-zooming by. Different colours and merging into black and white and oddly vaporising in grey mist. Got the drift, people?!
Finally, he approached the famous Parel flyover (and this is where this story gets this stimulating title!), and felt the urge to pee. He naturally couldn’t tell this to his mother for he was instructed to pee always before stepping out of the house and there were some things that these all-knowing grown-ups did not understand and one of them was that the bladder does not work on time-table. School was still many steps away and with the morning prayers and the daily moral story of the principal, he was sure to wet his pants by then. So he closed his eyes and let his penis grow like the magic beanstalk. Away it grew itself and in time it was as large as the Parel flyover itself. The Bombay motorists who always keep looking at creating their own new roads started driving over it to get to the other side. Ambassadors and school-buses and five six seven people on Bajaj scooters wheeled their way over the Penis Flyover which ended at the public sauchalay where our hero was busy reliving himself.
Thus my friends, he was lightened off his misery. There are other versions of this story wherein supposedly he helped extinguish a raging fire on the other end of the flyover with his golden spray but that frankly is pure exaggeration. Its like adding some extra mirch masala to this story. But what I have revealed here to you is true because I was there on first-person witness basis.
Dear ladies, please note that there is no need to be much excited as his pee-pee doesn’t grow in size in the need of the hour now. He was a kid then, naive and thus free from the sordid flux of this dastardly world.
That’s all for now folks. So long.
MM

Sunday, August 30, 2015

EVENINGS AT MARINE DRIVE

PART THREE: LAND OF THE LOST SOULS
LOCATION: MARINE DRIVE, BOMBAY

This is the third and concluding part of the series ‘Evenings’.
Read part one: Evenings at Vizag and part two: Evenings at Marina.

Tired and weary, I arrive at the city of Bombay to seek answers to the Ultimate Truth; having proved my worth after my quiet contemplation in Vizag and my battle with my prevailing demons at the golden beach of Madras. Having covered the distances by foot on my earlier travails, better sense prevailed and I took the train here to be awestruck by the grand splendour of the Victoria Terminus Station. I followed the smell of the sea and walked all the way to the Queen’s Necklace - as it’s been called - to be welcomed by open hands by the Majestic Arabian Sea.

I have been waiting for a long long time.

The sea has always spewed up splendiferous gifts for me and I know I should expect the unexpected here. I feel gratitude and feel blest having shared a single soul with the ever-encompassing ever-forgiving sea. And before I seek the blessings of my fortitude, I ask for forgiveness. For all the bad I have done. I have killed massacred slaughtered (... and have loved it!). This journey of life has been undertaken not without a purpose of sanctimony.

I climb up the tallest palm tree; the few lining up amidst the towering structures around the bend and wait. Patience I have enough, having carried myself through till now. I am wrapped in a silk lungi and the salty breeze gently tickles my hairy ballocks. I pick out baby coconuts and try to snack on them. However my teeth are not too strong mainly due to a lack of proper dental hygiene since a long time. I drop the coconuts on below unsuspecting passer-bys’ but it does little to awake them from the dreggy monotony they surround themselves in. Tired, hungry and begrimed, I await a little more.

Far far away where the earth blends with the sky, the sun reaches out to kiss the sea and creates a sempiternal moment of surrealistic beauty. Meanwhile, the white-collars carry on without a conscious glance and filled with ignorance at the glorious sight that waits for all to see. If we could only open our mind and not only our eyes then we will have a better idea of where we actually are going. But they scatter away like ripples in pond and none have a notion of their true destination nor care about the journey.  There are a few others though, lost in the mirth of their own worlds. The couples line up under black umbrellas even though there is no rain and whisper sweet nothings. The street urchins interrupt them from time to time with the allure of the purchase of a fresh cut red rose. “For your lady – love” they say. Elsewhere, someone has a handful of fireflies placed in a box lantern while it rises high amongst the night clouds beaconing the anchored vessels in the horizon. The usual suspects selling chana jor garam and bhel add to the cacophony of the atmosphere.

I can wait no more.

I quickly slide down and run across the road without worrying about the speeding motorists who zip zap zoom around me. I climb the ledge and get down on the infamous tetrapods. I take out the silken purple pouch that I have been secretly and safely carrying with me all this while. It is a product of years of perseverance and I hope to offer the same to the Goddess of the seven oceans across the world. It contains my navel lint that I have so carefully plucked out each morning without fail. I hope with this offering my mission would be over and done with. I stretch out my arms reaching to touch the horizon and pour the contents into the sea. A light breeze wafts through and sings the songs of the evening to me. The vespertine flowers acknowledge my sacrifice. The sun plays hide and seek with the clouds as it plans to settle down for the night. The waves dance in the colours of the twilight zone. Blue Yellow Orange Green.

I wait some more.

And then she appears. The waves carry her out to me. She carries the radiance of a thousand suns and the calmness of a million moons. I would have never imagined life to be so beautiful if I had not gathered myself to embark on this adventurous journey. She holds out her hand to me with a sly smile on her face. My heart melts inside. She sits next to me while we hold hands still. She does not say a word. She does not need to. We converse the length of this universe as our souls are aligned in perfect symmetry. This moment is perfect, more than it. As the metempsychosis occurs I understand the journey of life which is a never ending stream of the awesomeness of being. I gain enlightenment. There is peace in the air I breathe.

I know I have to bid farewell at some time. The moment will last not forever even though that is what I wish for. Everything will end and it brings a slight tremor to my melting heart. She knows and all she does is smile assuringly letting me know that the end is not the cause of worry. It is only a beginning of another journey.  

Time flies, seasons change, years pass by and then she suddenly stands up to leave. Her hand slips away from mine. There are no good byes, no last words. The moment has encompassed itself.

I watch her leave.


I am no longer waiting. 

Friday, January 16, 2015

A TRAGI-COMIC LIMIRICAL STORY OF A PURPLE PANTHER IN A CHINESE ZOO WHO SNORTED A BIT OF COCAINE AND BELIEVED HE WAS A HUMMINGBIRD SO HE TRIED TO FLY AWAY (BACKWARDS) ONLY TO BANG HIS HEAD ON THE METAL BARS OF HIS CAGE AND PASS OUT!

There was a Panther in the land of Chinks,
Who was neither blue nor was he pink.
But rather a shade of deep purple.
And never he prided, always humble.
Though his looks gave many a kink.


I wished today to tell you his story.
Describing his exploits in all glory.
But by now you might have guessed.
With smartness that you are blessed.
The title is much self-explanatory.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

SOULMATES

The aura of equanimity
Of the sun and the moon.
The marvellous wind carvings
On the malleable sand dunes.
The colours of the rainbow
Blended as sparkling light.
The seducing drizzling rain
On a chilled lonesome night.
The flowery fields surrounded
By howering yellow-black bees.
The infinite frothy secrets
Of the deep blue seas.
The assuring luminosity
Of a bright candle flame.
Two effervescing souls
Universally united as same.
No sizzle in life there is
With each without the other.
Like it was destined to be,
We are made for each other.

So will it be always,
Till time is undone.
I will keep loving you
Like I loved no one.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

PS: Maria I Love You

Maria Oh sweet Maria!!
Come over so that I can give you a hug. I'll let you sprawl over my couch and laze around for eternity. I'll let you tickle me between my toes and I'll even let you paint my nails your favourite shade of pink. From now on, I won't pretend not to understand what you are saying and will be intent on listening and re-listening to whatever you got to say. Why, but I will even laugh genuinely at all your jokes...all the stupid ones too! I'll take you out for long walks in the sunshine and in the rain and I won't yell 'She's not with me!' when people are around. I won't yell even if no one's around. I'll hold your hand even if it gets sweaty and yes, I'll roll around in the muck with you since you love it so much. I wont even mind when you eat my plants and I'll sit with you and watch all your silly shows...yes, even Courage-the cowardly dog on Cartoon Network. I won't put salt in your dessert, not even accidentally-on-purpose. I won't boo you when you enter my room and I won't try and trip you while walking with you. I won't even push you down the stairs...even though I'll have to try real hard not to do it! I definitely won't morph your pics with four-legged animals and post it all over the internet. I will not lock you in the bathroom and switch off the lights...okay...okay...i won't even shut you away in the washing machine. And I will get you tons and tons of ice-cream of every flavour everyday except for Litchi for I'll not forget-on-purpose that you are allergic to it. I will always keep you happy dearest! Always!!
...all because I am in LOVE and the whole world deserves to be happy!!!!

Friday, April 11, 2014

THE LAST SONG OF DUSK

Firmly he cups her enchanted breast
As his tongue envelops her bare earlobe.
Willingly she arches back against him
While his fingers sensually probe.

Between fervent kisses and goosebumps,
He laps up between her quivering thighs
Gingerly, that sweet-salty nectar of life
And catapults her to orgasmic Paradise.

Blanketed in each others' sweaty arms
She claws him zealously back into her
Like two starry souls entwined as one
While the world turns to a chirpy blur.

Gleefully she sings the forbidden song,
Of angelic pain and devilish pleasure.
As he spills his Love inside her, she
Holds him close to Heart for good measure.

Monday, March 10, 2014

MONKEY ANGEL

To you Nikky, deservedly the sweetest creature on earth. The gift's awesome. Many thanks!!!

Red bum-faced monkey
Resides inside her.
Showing off only to special me.
Proudly, what alone I can see.

On the outside;
Sophisticated Accented Manicured.
And rose tinted extra large glares
To shield all perverted stares.

Foul-mouthed and noodle-eater.
Royal nakras to annoy me.
Treats me like her chauffeur.
But I wouldn't rather be without her.

Monday, November 25, 2013

THE FEAR INSIDE

Dismay anxiety terror. 
An explosion inside. 
A feeling of emptiness. 
A feeling of purposelessness. 
I scamper in all directions,
Far as my feet can manage. 
But the fear lies within me. 
Do I stand alone and fight 
Or try run away from me?

Saturday, October 5, 2013

NEVER GIVE UP

The ticktock of the clocks
Fades away and stops. 
I stare ahead in the darkness. 
Nobody asks if I care less. 
I have lost all I had.
But I am just as glad. 
I will fight till am gone. 
My heart keeps ticking on. 

Sunday, December 23, 2012

FAVOUR

I seek a favour from you.
Kill yourself before I do.
Before night begets day.
Pretty please if I may.
I seek this not for me,
But in interests of all humanity.
Your existence is a disgrace.
Violation of ground and airspace.
Help if you will ever need,
I will lend a knife to lead.
Cut out your heart,
This for a welcome start.
Free us all prisoners.
And then burn it to cinders.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

FREE FALL

I stand at the edge,
The cavity below beacons.
There's no turning back. 

No time to hesitate. 
I know I can do it. 
The feeling is so strong. 
If I jump I won't fall.
I will simply fly away. 

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

THE BATTLE

She bends.
I catch a glimpse.
Shrilly blue lace.
My member
Defies gravity.
Against all odds.
I plan to make
My move but...
Along comes
The snake.
Tattooed, squeezing
through her valley.
I wonder!!
Don't I love
a threesome.
And then they...
Smearing of lipstick
on each other.
Routing the places of paradise.
Duel each other
With their tongues.
Whilst me is hardly
Taken worthy
Of partnership.
Nevertheless,
As they pass
I still
Stiff-salute them.

Friday, November 25, 2011

LIVING DEAD

Slash with a knife,
thy wounds won't heal.
Burn it red,
Stab thy heart.
Feel no sorrow.
Feel no pain.
Give in to pleasure.
Beat it to hell.
Weep with job.
Being dead whilst alive. 

Saturday, November 12, 2011

THE NEXT STEP

So long as friends,
We have played our part.
Time comes by now
For a fresh new start.
I feel alive,
Time spent so far.
Life feels so wonderful.
Now in my world that you are. 

Saturday, November 5, 2011

LOVE ITSELF 2

How he cries!
A prisoner lost in battle.
Death won't account
His escape.
For wounds suffered
Where one lost thy love,
Cannot be healed.
The soul remains,
Scarred forever,
There would seem no end.
the ignominy of it all,
Where love has foundered.
Love itself,
Shall find a way.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

MIRROR HEART

I suffer from heart ailments.
The doctor has given up hope. 
You are the one who can help,
If you must, it's you who
Shattered it into a million parts. 
As the mirror will reflect
Each tiny bit the whole image,
So will each part of my heart
Still love you a million fold. 

Monday, May 30, 2011

Saturday, March 19, 2011

TODAY IN HISTORY

Today, my friends is the day when the Moon is the closest to Earth. 14 % bigger and 30% brighter. Should be a sight for all Lunatics!!!! A day to rejoice and enjoy the delights of the Supermoon.

But ironically, today is also the saddest day of my life. A total disaster in twenty-five crazy years on this planet. I am feeling so disapointed and angry and depressed and confounded all at the same time. Simply makes me feel as I just do not deserve to exist.

Whatever I had loved and desired is all gone. Puff! In a moment. Never to come back. I do not know how I am going to cope with it though I will have to somehow.

I hate myself and I hate u all.