purplefish

QUOTE OF THE MONTH

2011-05-30T08:57:00.000+04:00

"You are extraordinary!"
-A doting mother to her individualist son

TODAY IN HISTORY

2011-03-19T20:37:00.001+04:00

Today, my friends is the day when the Moon is the closest to Earth. 14 % bigger and 30% brighter. Should be a sight for all Lunatics!!!! A day to rejoice and enjoy the delights of the Supermoon.

But ironically, today is also the saddest day of my life. A total disaster in twenty-five crazy years on this planet. I am feeling so disapointed and angry and depressed and confounded all at the same time. Simply makes me feel as I just do not deserve to exist.

Whatever I had loved and desired is all gone. Puff! In a moment. Never to come back. I do not know how I am going to cope with it though I will have to somehow.

I hate myself and I hate u all.

I WILL FLY AWAY

2011-02-27T19:15:00.001+04:00

One day I'll fly away

Leave all this to yesterday

What more could your love do for me

When will love be through with me

Why live life from dream to dream

And dread the day when dreaming ends.

- Nicole Kidman

RISE AND SHINE

2011-02-03T11:23:00.000+04:00

Put all your sorrows away.

Rise and shine.

It is a beautiful day.

For today you are mine.

QUOTE OF THE MONTH

2011-02-02T16:07:00.001+04:00

“If a person is distressed and miserable and wishes to be left alone then…you bloody well leave him alone”

-Nikita Hempton

THE INSANITY OF MARALD GRUMPUS

2011-01-24T23:24:00.004+04:00

Marald Grumpus
Neither grumpy nor was he pompous.
Had an IQ of one sixty three
And a really good memory.
His amazing skill of recollection
Was attributed to his odd tradition
Of putting things away in orderly fashion
In little boxes in his brain’s faction.
In order to secure from telepathic minds,
He locked it so that no one could find
What was hidden in utmost secrecy.
Unfortunately, he lost the key.

HAPPY TO BE SAD

2011-01-24T22:39:00.004+04:00

Watch me stare at my computer screen. I have my Facebook page open, also Twitter and my personal Gmail too. I refresh the pages after every ten minutes, hoping to receive an IM, tweet or a short mail from her.

Watch how every time my phone vibrates my heart vibrates too anticipating an SMS from her or even a missed call by mistake.

Watch how I stare longingly at the full moon assuming she might be doing the same and missing me just as much.

I have been doing this since the last many days but to no avail.

Finally, before I could lose all hope, my phone rang. There!! Even though I had deleted her name from my contact list, I still remembered her number. It’s strange how you can easily delete someone special from memory but never from your heart!

Watch now how a sly smile spreads across my face as my heart starts beating faster.

But then, I compose myself and disconnect the call. I have grown so accustomed to this sadness and solitude that I do not wish to be happy again.

SECRETS

2011-01-24T21:50:00.003+04:00

Sinister plans are being made
In the mind of the genius.
Cannot be revealed to you.
And therein lies the potency.

MOONLIGHT

2011-01-22T20:43:00.001+04:00

Dashing smile across the night sky.

Mystical Mysterious Magical.

Seducing you in your dreams.

Controlling all matters mental.

Ruler of all lonely hearts.

Playing games of hide and seek.

Fooling people of emotions.

Such as we may bespeak.

Do not fall prey to the divine light.

What may seem a surreal reality.

It’s not exactly what it seems.

It’s all dark in actuality.

YOUR EYES

2011-01-22T16:01:00.005+04:00

They project what is so good about this world.

A luminous display of your sweet soul.

I used to see the best of me in them.

Capturing innocence and love in whole.

I may have hurt you in many ways.

I have at times made you cry.

I know I do not deserve you.

How much ever hard I try.

Today I see that shimmer back again

In your pretty eyes, albeit not for me.

(Though it gives me severe heartburn)

I still am indeed glad and pray

That you remain forever happy.

similar: IN YOUR EYES

HIGH ON LIFE

2011-01-18T00:25:00.002+04:00

"Happiness is a warm gun.

Bang Bang Shoot Shoot."

-Beatles

The best part of being Bipolar is the high you experience. After a period of sullen depression, the mania when it arrives is EUPHORIC. Like the red cherry topping on the cake. You feel as if nothing can ever go wrong.

The whole Universe becomes your playground and your mind is firmly in control of all around you. You can bend things to your liking, make them disappear, slide down from one end to another and keep going on and on and on! You can be whatever you always wished to be, do whatever you always wanted to do. There is no stopping you. No rules. No limits.

It’s like a drug that seeps into your blood pumping your pulsating heart with fresh renewed energy. Making you feel younger lighter happier. You get in a lift and press the top button and you soar up UP UP and away.

It’s like listening to 'Us and them' on weed. Except, there is no weed...your mind is the scene of the crime!!

Life gets so effing wonderful that you will die of happiness! Who in his sane mind would let go?!!

A piece of advice for people who are feeling low: Be brave. Stab yourselves with a long twisted Knife. There is really NO hope for you.

QUOTE OF THE MONTH

2011-01-17T20:26:00.004+04:00

I refuse to let what happened to me make me bitter.
-Nic

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL WITHOUT YOU

2011-01-16T14:48:00.006+04:00

Without you,

Life is beautiful.

It’s like a dream come true.

Without you,

Life is just wonderful...

…Seriously, who am I kidding!

2010-12-18T21:13:00.002+04:00

depression leads to loneliness

loneliness leads to depression

damn...its a viscous cycle!!!

HU KAUN CHE

2010-12-17T20:13:00.006+04:00

Origami expert.

Child molesting pervert.

Bossaball player.

Dragon slayer.

Three-headed beast.

None of these.

QUIT NEVER

2010-11-05T15:09:00.001+04:00

Many twists and turns.

Life won’t ever be the same.

But only after breakpoint

Are you set for game.

We have to soldier on

And never quit lane.

Only then will we

Ever achieve our aim.

With difficult choices

We may falter again.

But keep your head high

And forego all pain.

Soon the clouds will clear by

And so will the cold rain.

The sun will cast a rainbow.

Life won’t ever be selfsame.

DISORIENTATION

2010-05-10T13:35:00.002+04:00

Tommy: Women are always looking for Mr. Right, but no man seems to be looking for his perfect partner. Tell me why?
Anita: Because when I went to the store, the sale was already over. Everything was sold! :-( :-(
Tommy: Yes, there is NO Ms. Right!
Anita: Yeah, and now I feel so full because I just ate three scrambled eggs with Labneh cheese and I am gonna barf…
**********************************************
Look around.
See the sounds.
Hear the colours swishing by.
You stand on no steady ground.
The world is moving round and round and round.

Feel the power of the mind.
You exist of the tumultuous kind.
Some day you will just die
Do I still have to remind?
Your fate will always be maligned.

WRATH OF THE CURSE

2010-02-27T18:59:00.008+04:00

An arrow once released can’t be drawn back

And will find its fatal prey.

Words of hatred spewed in anger,

Also will react the same way.

Doomed forever are the unfortunate few

Whose lonely souls are cursed.

A wily serpent on their trail.

Can you really undo once cussed?

A curse seeks mighty solace,

In the misery of the human mind.

And will torment you to death.

Kill you before your time.

THE GREATEST WOMAN OF ALL

2010-02-27T15:02:00.003+04:00

Silly you!
Slap yourself before I do!
Of course, she isn’t 10 feet tall.

She is my sparkling diamond.
Sunshine that beams the dark land.
She is my Greatest Woman of All!

I seek to kiss the soles of her feet.
‘Cause she loves me in a way so sweet;
Unconditionally. I remain: thralled.

Watch her smile, will you!
A spry jolt of lightening out of the blue.
Magic Vanish for your sorrows all.

Wherever she goes, there is
An aura of tranquil bliss.
Spearing the shadows of our mind’s wall.

She speaks the language of Love.
Forgives me each time somehow.
She is the Greatest Woman of All!

DIE MUTHRFUCKR DIE

2010-02-25T15:52:00.000+04:00

When I said I was happy I was just lying.
Each morning I wake up and find myself dying.

I tried to cut my wrists but the knife was too blunt.
I tried to hang myself but the tree branch broke.
I tried consuming poison, but I only got high.
I tried to light myself on fire but I couldn’t find a match.
I jumped of a high raiser only to fall in a swimming pool.
I lay on the railway tracks, but the motormen went on strike.

I am nothing but a loser.
And now I want to die because am not good even at killing myself.

LOVE YOU FOREVER

2010-02-15T17:32:00.000+04:00

It’s a perfect day. It’s neither too cloudy nor too sunny. I wish time could just freeze. The outdoors is like a picture postcard of some exotic locale. I recline back next to Nikky on the grass watching the clouds form amazing shapes in the sky. I feel blessed to be with her. Her mere presence is enough to fill my life with joy forever. Nothing she would do would make me love her less.

"Look", she says and points toward the sky, “That’s a turtle which has retracted into the shell.”

I love her antique bracelet that her grandma gave her to protect her from lightning. I love the way she smells. It is heavenly intoxicating. I love how her crazy hair ruffles in the air and feels silken to my touch. I love it when she makes those baby faces and kisses me on the tip of my nose.

"…and there”, she goes again, “now that’s an elephant with wings!”

I love it when she says she isn’t hungry and then proceeds to eat whatever all is on my plate. I love it when she tells me that she will sleep besides me even though I snore a lot (Fact is she is the one who snores, while I comply only because I love her). I love it when she hugs me and nuzzles my neck.

“That one…” she says, “…is a snake which swallowed a whole house with a TV antenna on the roof.”

I look at her and kiss her right ear and tell her that I love her and if she ever left me I would kill her.

“Awww!!” She goes and cups my face. “You are such a romantic. I love you too!”

“I love you three!!” I say.

“I love you till infinity!!”

I love her snorty laugh. I love how she always tells me to shut up. I love the way she scrubs my body when we shower together, I love how she is always interested in whatever I do. I love it how cute she sounds whenever she is excited about something. I love her OCDness. I love how she finishes her bacardi/slice in one go. I love the fact that she swings both ways. I love the fact that she refuses to ever completely grow up.

Sometimes I fear the clouds will roll on and I will lose her but then I look into her puppy-eyes and feel the reassuring faith that come what may, she will forever be by my side.

"I love you plus one!"

(WILL YOU BE) MY VALENTINE

2010-02-14T11:47:00.005+04:00

To you my Jigripoo, my Catwoman, my Honeybunny…I love thee, I love thee, I love thee…forever and a day.

Funny faces you make and pout.

And then tell me you have to workout.

“But before am back,

Better cut out the slack,
With something to surprise me no doubt.”

I conjure up ideas in my brain.
Not just roses and sparkling champagne.
Something spectacular.
Romantic not jocular.
But then soon, you are back again.

O my sweet sunshine!

You are always on my mind.

Ask my crazy heart,

I would never part.

I want you to be forever mine!

I present this lousy poem to you,

And hope this will somehow make do,

For now, that is.

Sealed with a kiss.

Be my Valentine, will you?

A TRAGI-COMIC LIMIRICAL STORY OF A PURPLE PANTHER IN A CHINESE ZOO WHO SNORTED A BIT OF COCAINE AND BELIEVED HE WAS A HUMMINGBIRD SO HE TRIED TO FLY AWAY (BACKWARDS) ONLY TO BANG HIS HEAD ON THE METAL BARS OF HIS CAGE AND PASS OUT!

2010-01-16T22:37:00.006+04:00

There was a Panther in the land of Chinks,
Who was neither blue nor was he pink.
But rather a shade of deep purple.
And never he prided, always humble.
Though his looks gave many a kink.

I wished today to tell you his story.
Describing his exploits in all glory.
But by now you might have guessed.
With smartness that you are blessed.
The title is much self-explanatory.

QUOTE OF THE MONTH

2010-01-13T15:02:00.000+04:00

"If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive."
Samuel Goldwyn

THE SOUL-HUNTERS AND THE BULLET-DODGER

2010-01-07T20:35:00.009+04:00

I am such a wimp that I would be scared to sleep alone in a room with the lights off.

But things were different that day.

I was at the mall with Nikky. She had dragged me along so that she wouldn’t have to carry her own shopping bags. I din't want to go but there was nothing I could do. She was busy trying out the numerous baby-sized tops and before she could ask me the dreaded question, “Am I looking FAT in this?”, I decided to grab a quick bite. I know, after two black eyes, one broken limb and one lost tooth that it’s better to dodge the situation no matter how brave-hearted you are.

I was just about to munch into my favourite momos when I heard the scream. There were sounds like the bursting of firecrackers coming from inside and within seconds people started running out. The whole place which had seemed so peaceful a few moments ago was suddenly in chaos. I contemplated for a while whether to finish my snack or to go check on Nikky and then I decided on the latter. As I entered in wedging my way through the great sea of shrieking people I saw them.

They were two of them. While one of them held a pistol and carried a large gleaming knife in his waist-belt the other was firing away with his machine gun. But what was strange was that they were not targeting people. I could not see anybody hurt or dead across the floor. But they saw red. This is because they both wore red shades.

And then I realised who they were.

Soul-hunters have existed on earth since the medieval times. They hunt souls (as you might have guessed already), but not just any soul. They look for the purest soul that hasn’t sinned ever which is also the most rarest to find on earth and elsewhere. They believe if they release an untainted soul, they are assured of an eternal life of youth and happiness. Who wouldn’t want to be 18 forever!

And then I realised why they were here.

Nikita Hempton snores louder than a jackhammer and makes me wash the dishes every day. But she loves me more than the moon. And when I sleep in her arms (with ear-plugs), I feel life is so beautiful that I will die! She may boss her way around but I have never known her to speak ill of others or hold any grudges toward anyone. She paves the way for being an enigma of a better human being than us mortals.

And then I realised she is the one and I got to save her any which way.

I was rooted at the spot as my heartbeat ran a mile. I was wondering what to do when I heard her scream my name. I cautiously ambled towards the store. They were inside. I hunched against the wall and slowly peeped through the glass. One of them held Nikky by her hair as the other drew out his knife and prepared to plunge through her tweeting heart. Nikky’s eyes grew larger in fright as her voice disappeared and I knew I had to do something NOW. I am no Superman but at that moment I knew I could just about do anything I thought of. I couldn’t bear to lose Nikky.

I picked up a metal side-post that was lying around in the chaos and braced myself. As he held the knife at the highest point of his radius I ran in, my thoughts only on killing these freaking bastards, through the glass that shattered into a high-pitched million smatterings and as the guy holding Nikky turned around in surprise, I brought down the metal rod sideways to his head, thus decapitating him in one single blow. His head rolled down the floor while his limp body fell onto a now-fainting Nikky Hempton. The other guy was too stunned to think for a while and then he just dropped his knife and took out his pistol. As he pressed the trigger, the bullet rushed through, rotating and directed towards me. Instinctively, I swung the metal rod (now stained red) and the bullet ricocheted as it hit the middle of the rod with a clang. I dropped it and ran full tilt towards the bewildered would-be assassin. I grabbed him and ran pushing him through the length of the store, through the well hung clothes, smashing the far window and breaking through it. I fell along with him three storeys into the ground.

Acted by gravity but cushioned by his body, I survived the fall. I was discharged from the hospital the next day with a fractured right hand and a few minor bruises. As I stepped out of the hospital with a wide-beaming Nikky on my other arm, I was greeted with a huge frenzy of hysterical people who were chanting my name and the media-persons who wouldn’t stop clicking my pictures. Soon I was front-page news. People wouldn’t stop interviewing me. I appeared on National TV. I started getting offers for ads, ribbon-cutting ceremonies for new openings, movie roles. People hounded me for autographs. In less than two days I got more than ten thousand friend requests on Facebook and this very blog recorded a million hits in a day. I was awarded the National Bravery Award to be given by the great President himself on Republic Day. I was a celebrity. I was a Superhero.

...and then I woke up. Nikky had left early as usual. She had left behind a note in her most scrawniest handwriting, ‘Wash dishes, clean house before I return or no food for you even today.’

I may be a Superhero, but am doomed forever.

GOODBYE BLUE SKY

2009-12-28T22:15:00.002+04:00

Goodbye Cruel World

I'm leaving you today.

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

Goodbye all you people,

There's nothing you can say,

To make me change my mind.

Goodbye. -Pink Floyd

I always thought I would die a spectacular death. Something extraordinary. Out of the blue. Something which would catch people’s attention. Something which I was not able to do while alive.

But now am dead and nothing of how it happened matters to me. All what matters is the freedom of my bruised and baffled soul.

I do not blame anyone for my death. I am entirely responsible for it. Death is my creation. For twenty-seven wretched years I have dreamt of achieving success and fame and a little happiness for me and my parents. But I have been unable to do so. I have lived an eccentric & wasted life and I have disappointed a lot of people. But I do not feel sorry for it. I lived and I died with no regrets.

Do not call me a quitter. I am not.

I just got bored of life. Nothing interests me anymore.

Take care people.

praneeth(09/11/2012)

THE HUMAN CANNONBALL

2009-12-28T17:14:00.013+04:00

It was only when I sat down did I realise how tired I actually was and before I could give my ageing body some rest, Nikky came running, “It’s starting in five minutes...The Human Cannonball! Let’s go let’s go let’s go let’s go!!” and she dragged my hand leading me through beautiful Arab women veiled away from prying eyes, skin baring Europeans, a pair of unusually tall Filipinos, moustachioed hair-combed dark Indians and a bunch of bubble-blowing foot-stamping children to a huge gathering below a thin hung up net.

I had come or rather been sweet-talked coaxed persuaded by Nikita Hempton; my wild-haired child-brained friend, to ‘The Global Village’ which is a three-month long festival happening every year in Dubai. Having spent a little more than three excruciating hours of Giant-wheel rides, painful-to-watch cultural dance-shows and most importantly, shopping through the various pavilions of all the participating countries buying stuff for Nikky till I exhausted my cash & credit card limit (She did say she will pay me back later which I highly doubt), all I wished for was to go home and sleep.

As they played ‘Shoot to thrill’ by AC/DC, Nikky explained: “You see, the guy will get into that cannon placed over there and then they will shoot him a hundred fifty feet in the air and then he will fall in that net hung over there.”

“What’s the big deal about it?” I asked.

“Shut-up-and-listen!” She said, “...and this is the first time he’s performing in the middle-east so I have to see it. Don’t know whether I’ll get to see this again.” And then she offered me her green candy floss to pep me up a bit.

“Where did you get this?” I asked. “Isn’t candy floss supposed to be pink?”

“Shut-up-and-see!”

The emcee introduced the balding but volitorial Chinese guy who was going to play out this death defying act. As he prepared to address the spectators, a litter of children brushed through Nikky and me holding a bunch of smiley-faced coloured helium-filled balloons. That’s the problem with children. You ought to give them way. Kids will spit at you and you can’t do anything about it. If you beat them you will be berated by everyone and if you complain, they will retort, ‘But they are only children.’ So I feigned defeat and tried to find a clear line of vision through the air-heads. I saw then, the Chinese guy, as he snoached about his travails around the world, with a clear sense of discomfort on his pale leathered face.

To get a more distinct understanding about his woes, I fine-tuned my mind to his inner mind and it was then that I discovered to my amusement that he was suffering from acidity ever since eating one-too-many schwarmas that evening. As deep unrest grew within him, I couldn’t help but stomach the similitude that here was he-‘the real human cannonball’.

He positioned himself inside the cannon and prepared himself for his launch. As soon as the mob chanted ten nine eight seven six five four three two one, he exploded in the air with a loud bang thus scaring the kid in front of me who let go his balloon and ran back to find solace in his mommy’s arms. Now the balloon having been freed and with a destiny of its own, travelled high in the air right in the trajectory of the propelled Chineseman. The two met at the highest point of the eclipse and this is where things got interesting.

The human cannonball collided with the balloon, mid-air, and due to the sudden shock of the unexpected encounter, he was lightened off his internal misery. The sound of his breaking wind was masked by the equally loud pop of the exploding balloon thus saving the now-relieved acrobat some dignity while the stunned crowd below looked on with disbelief at his marvellous feat of bursting a balloon in the air. As soon as he landed safely in the net, he was acknowledged with a thunderous round of applause by the astonished crowd. It was the first time I saw the great entertainer smile since evening.

I casually put a hand around Nikky and told her that this was indeed the greatest show I had ever seen. While she, visibly irritated with the foul smell which was now slowing enveloping the air around, brushed off my arm off her shoulders and fumed, “Shut-up-and-let’s-go!”

BETA THETA (BEAT DEATH)

2009-12-19T21:37:00.001+04:00

Death awaits me
And what an irony!
I know him coming
And wouldn’t concede victory.
For they say for life without strife,
It isn’t only about winning.
I encompass the universe
In my palms, death is my doing.
As blood finds its new path
Through my slit artery.
In your face death! In your macabre face!!
I fuck you before you can fuck me.

A SERIES OF MISADVENTURES OF A PERVERTED MIND – PART 1

2009-12-19T21:34:00.004+04:00

EPISODE 1: THE MAGIC SUNGLASSES

Fact no. 1: Kanda increases your sexual appetite.

In his bathroom, Max Mathan winks at his reflection in the mirror. His index finger of his right hand digs deep in his thumb-sized right nostril in exploration for that evasive piece of silver gloop. Satisfied, he applies a generous portion to his yet boyish moustache to get the perfect Devil’s horns.

‘Should I? Shouldn’t I? Shouldn’t? Should?’ He wonders and in the end leaves without washing his hands.

While in the elevator, he amuses himself with the fan switch; onoffonoffon...off...onoffonoffon, much to the chagrin of the cheek-moled lady with the tiny Chihuahua besides him.

“What a bitch!” He blurts out loud.
“‘cuse me!” She says visibly annoyed. “He’s a male.”
“I know!” Max says and walks out.

Outside the sun is up and bright and the world is flooded with light. Max whips out his X-Ray Magic Sunglasses and puts it on. And then he sees what he certainly did not expect to see: The traffic pandu’s surprisingly clean shaved testicles, the beggar-woman’s tasteless sagging breasts, the virginal rumps of a bunch of chaste nuns and a hunk of meat hanging by the ever-smiling postman. Whoa! Who’s got mail?

Fact no. 2: Eating one normal sized banana gives you enough stamina for a good ninety minutes strenuous activity.

At the Club, people dance drink dance and make merry. The inebriated sounds of falsities fill the smoked air around. While our Maxie Boy strains his eye balls through his magic glares and feels a certain pulsating strain in his pants. He has never felt so good. He has never seen such beautiful sights before. Women walk by him; naked as the day they were born. The magic glasses are sure worth more than what he got them for, wonders Max and then more letches grins stares...

Well, how he got his special magic glasses is another story in itself and will follow later in the series.

Max finds a nice cosy corner and orders a large vodka-red bull. His right hand slips down the table as he unzips and takes out his male weapon. He knows that the public exposure will be downright demeaning but he can’t risk an explosion in his pants. He soaks in the sights as his movements gain momentum.

Fact no. 3: Smoking in no way decreases your member’s length.

And then he sees her...standing at the far end with her lovely heart-shaped ass (which will make Kim Kardashain kill herself in jealously) turned towards him. Max can’t see her face but he feels so turned on that his heart beats amplify and his pupils dilate...and something else grows larger and larger till he feels he cannot constrain it in the confined space under the table...and then she turns around.

And it is exactly at this precise moment that our hero, Max Mathan notices, through his X-Ray Magic Sunglasses, hanging between her legs a piece of meat that would make even the ever-smiling postman frown. And in the spur of second as he is about to cum due to the shock, Max in self-consciousness tries to zip back his pants and then...uh-huh, while in his hurriedness gets his enlarged member stuck in his bronze zipper.

Fact no. 4: Anal-sex is illegal and punishable by law in India.

Later, Paswinder Singh aka Pussy, the pot-bellied but short-tempered Sardar-watchman outside the Club claimed that he had never heard anyone in his six year service yelp so obstreperously over the Club-thumping music.

Fact no.5: It’s every man’s fantasy to be a lesbian.

At the hospital, the doctors; who had put on their masks because it was impossible to stop grinning at Max, discharged him after just a little bit of snip-snap.

Though Max Mathan was fortunate enough to not suffer disembodiment, the scars of the incident will remain fresh in his perverted mind for a long long time to cum...sorry come.

THE CHRISTMAS LIST

2009-12-19T21:07:00.011+04:00

Since I have been such a well-behaved boy for the last 33 years of my life without once asking Santa Claus for anything, I thought this year would prepare a top ten list of things I so desire.

1. Toy cars with/without remote controlIt would be fun to race!

2. Pellet gunSo that I can improve my shooting skills

3. A full year’s supply of Jim-Jam biscuitsThe only thing I won’t ever share with anyone

4. A bicycle
Am so longing to ride one down the countryside

5. Box of crayons (64colours)I want to recolour the world.

6. Guitar HeroCool stuff

7. Beatles/Elvis Presely complete collection
Gods of music

8. Hunting knifeTo cut my wrists to overcome my only fear of cutting myself

9. The Satanic VersesThough I have read it, I do want a hard-bound copy for my personal collection.

10. I miss her so much

THE SUBSET

2009-10-28T13:48:00.003+04:00

It’s something which I can’t deny

Of how much you mean to me.

Faraway though you are,

Still it’s such a strong feel.

Though, on what I am to believe

You may not necessary agree.

You have let things to rot.

As if just to mock me!

My feelings for you are special.

I believe it’s too real to be true.

If only could make you understand…

I love you so much I’ll kill you.

I HAVE NEVER DIED BEFORE!

2009-09-22T18:38:00.002+04:00

Life smiled at me once.
And I smiled right back.
Nothing more did I wish.
Nothing less did I lack.
But now this gloomy distance
Is slowly killing me.
More than I can take.
Not how I wished it to be.
I love you so much.
Right from my heart's core.
With you not around,
Each passing day I die a li'l more!

I-D-E-N-T-I-T-Y

2009-09-22T18:33:00.003+04:00

I am a man of many faces.
None that I claim as my own.
I walk a hundred different paths.
None that ever leads me home.
Alive am I still and kicking.
With people wondering could it be how?
If there's something I gotta do
Then it well better be now.
But at times it gets me thinking,
How can I be just ME?
I wonder how long I'll take,
To be alive and yet free!

LOVE COUPLET

2009-09-16T18:54:00.000+04:00

You and Me.
Eternity.

LONG DISTANCE

2009-08-29T18:56:00.003+04:00

Believing what friends say
Is all up to you.
Though whatever they gotta say,
Usually comes true.
And in this unwarrented debate
Of long distance relationships.
They may have many stories to tell
And may offer you many tips.
But I need you to remember
And be assured by it too.
Come what may ever,
I will keep loving you.
Through the test of distance,
As time stretches it longer.
I know it will somehow work,
My heart only grows more fonder.

SOULMATES

2009-08-28T18:58:00.002+04:00

The aura of equanimity
Of the sun and the moon.
The marvellous wind carvings
On the malleable sand dunes.
The colours of the rainbow
Blended as sparkling light.
The seducing drizzling rain
On a chilled lonesome night.
The flowery fields surrounded
By howering yellow-black bees.
The infinite frothy secrets
Of the deep blue seas.
The assuring luminosity
Of a bright candle flame.
Two effervescing souls
Universally united as same.
No sizzle in life there is
With each without the other.
Like it was destined to be,
We are made for each other.

So will it be always,
Till time is undone.
I will keep loving you
Like I loved no one.

PS: Maria I Love You

2009-07-23T12:31:00.000+04:00

Maria Oh sweet Maria!!

Come over so that I can give you a hug. I'll let you sprawl over my couch and laze around for eternity. I'll let you tickle me between my toes and I'll even let you paint my nails your favourite shade of pink. From now on, I won't pretend not to understand what you are saying and will be intent on listening and re-listening to whatever you got to say. Why, but I will even laugh genuinely at all your jokes...all the stupid ones too! I'll take you out for long walks in the sunshine and in the rain and I won't yell 'She's not with me!' when people are around. I won't yell even if no one's around. I'll hold your hand even if it gets sweaty and yes, I'll roll around in the muck with you since you love it so much. I wont even mind when you eat my plants and I'll sit with you and watch all your silly shows...yes, even Courage-the cowardly dog on Cartoon Network. I won't put salt in your dessert, not even accidentally-on-purpose. I won't boo you when you enter my room and I won't try and trip you while walking with you. I won't even push you down the stairs...even though I'll have to try real hard not to do it! I definitely won't morph your pics with four-legged animals and post it all over the internet. I will not lock you in the bathroom and switch off the lights...okay...okay...i won't even shut you away in the washing machine. And I will get you tons and tons of ice-cream of every flavour everyday except for Litchi for I'll not forget-on-purpose that you are allergic to it. I will always keep you happy dearest! Always!!

...all because I am in LOVE and the whole world deserves to be happy!!!!

QUOTE OF THE MONTH

2009-07-23T10:08:00.001+04:00

You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams - Dr. Seuss

WIMBLEDON 2009

2009-07-06T20:27:00.001+04:00

I never was an avid tennis fan but then now that I am jobless with very little to do, I have been following Wimbledon like never before. And don't I got any company...yes I do...who else to give a fellow vela company then the king of all loafers - Max Mathan himself. And he's taken over my house...sprawled over my comfort purple fake-leather couch, binging over my potato fries and slurping that each last drop of pint beer. Why do I have to put of this nonsense? But I do not mind cause Winbledon has taken over my very interest.

Boy! I have never seen people sweat it out like this. It did take me many a match to get down with the intricate rules of the game and before the end I did have some clear favourites. I could have won some money had I bet some on my choices but I regret not cause the whole show has been one great blockbuster.

Federer won and how...voila! I sure bet he never would have had to work so hard for his other 14 grand slams. He won not cause he was the best. I did feel he was beatable though with the Roddick serves slamming past his ear. But then he brings so much consistency to his game and that's what has led him to victory all these years. In a few months he will have another trophy that he will cherish the most of all trophies won in his lifetime what with his wifey all preggers.

Roddick was all teary in the end and must be getting the similar feel that Andy Murray felt in the semi-finals...being so close and yet so far. BTW, Max feels Murray looks like a geek. Well I didn't ever give much thought to his thoughts!!!

The woman's finals well got a bit predictable. I knew Williams would win!! Those girls sure got a lot of firepower in there. "Happy realisation", says Maria. I catch hold of her and shove her back in the refrigerator. It will help numb her demented brain!! Well coming back though I secretly wished Elena Dementieva made it to the finals. She was kinda cute.

Max Mathan knuckles up MY last pint and offers me a sip. As I quench my thirst, he pegs up and asks me, "Dude, given a choice who would you sleep with...Venus or Serena Williams?"

Well am I just sad Wimbledon's come to a close!!!

BIRTHDAY WISHES

2009-06-20T08:59:00.010+04:00

I would have been an atheist but for you!

Warm birthday wishes

Regards,

Marald Grumpus

Dugaya Grumpus

Angelus Grumpus

Maria Maria

Sana Lakhotia

Akshan Amin

Ismetara Ali

Haroun Dilnawaz
Nikky Hempton
Suhana

Max Mathan

Taraai

Zairo

Aditi Seth
Namitha Shetty
Anita Nair

WARRIOR RED

2009-06-18T08:18:00.002+04:00

Look closer where my heart is bled

I better hurry up before am dead.

I know this very path I dread.

But its something better done than said.

All those people whom I led.

Have safely packed their bags and fled.

Am left alone with me instead.

And I sharpen with gusto my axe-head.

I have to go many miles ahead.

Will cut those who stop me to shreds.

My life hangs on a golden thread.

My Glory to the world will I spread.

MIS...ER...unABLE

2009-06-01T12:19:00.003+04:00

Its not me, its you.
Get back, Don't just stare.
Leave me alone,
While I traverse the yellow moon.
Pick up the starts,
And let me end
This story of life and death.
With you that spans the distance;
Shimmering eyes with blue lens.
Its you who freed me high.
Its you who wont let me fly.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

2009-06-01T10:17:00.004+04:00

"All I'm gonna do is just go on and do what I feel."
Jimi Hendrix

DAZED

2009-05-26T12:24:00.003+04:00

I, look up the sky,
Over horizons, covering all sides.
Eyes searching some answers,
Looking for peace, trouble in my mind.
Why, why cant I cry?
Life is lonely, wish I could die.
High as the mountains.
My spirits, healing inside.

Oh, Where should I run away, is there someplace for me to hide.
I am stranded alone on the highway and I need you by my side.
How long can I go on like this when nothing seems alright.
Oh please tear the Heavens apart and shower me with light.

I flip a coin to know my fate and I try my luck in different ways,
But nothing seems to come off it and I am trying trying...
It could well be just a phase as I try to get out of this maze,
But I am now just too dazed and I am dying dying...Yeah!!

I, look up the sky,
Watching the dark clouds roll by.
Time brings in more memories.
Memories which ask, why do we hurry.
Dreams fall in from above.
You are the only one, I'll always love.
Far in the dark night sky.
The moon, still smiling bright.

WITHOUT

2009-05-05T12:39:00.000+04:00

A soldier without his gun.
A father without his son.
A bald-head without his cap.
A pirate without an eyepatch.
A doughnut without a hole.
A aspirant without a goal.
A dog without a bone.
A king without a throne.
A kid without a friend.
A story without an end.
A magician without his tricks.
A rockband without their gigs.
A boss without a secretary.
A Tom without his Jerry.
A nut without a screw.
Me without You.

MY SASSY GIRL

2009-04-22T11:20:00.001+04:00

Battered down already with a broken nose.

Sheltering myself from her raining blows.

For reasons best only known to her.

At her mercy, I unquestioningly suffer.

Since I have nowhere to hide or run,

I pick up courage and face the gun.

She shoots me but with her kohl-lined eyes.

Straight in my heart with a doubtful surprise.

With kisses and hugs she belies her part.

Am quizzed at her sudden change of heart.

For forgiveness, she weeps, cries and begs.

And then squarely kicks me between my legs.

THE LAST SONG OF DUSK

2009-04-11T16:36:00.001+04:00

Firmly he cups her enchanted breast

As his tongue envelops her bare earlobe.

Willingly she arches back against him

While his fingers sensually probe.

Between fervent kisses and goosebumps,

He laps up between her quivering thighs

Gingerly, that sweet-salty nectar of life

And catapults her to orgasmic Paradise.

Blanketed in each others' sweaty arms

She claws him zealously back into her

Like two starry souls entwined as one

While the world turns to a chirpy blur.

Gleefully she sings the forbidden song,

Of angelic pain and devilish pleasure.
As he spills his Love inside her, she

Holds him close to Heart for good measure.

GFY

2009-04-01T08:04:00.001+04:00

You of silken hair and defiant smile,
LOSER TERA BAAP!

QUOTE OF THE MONTH

2009-03-16T10:31:00.000+04:00

I'm so glad.
I'm so glad.
I'm glad, I'm glad, I'm glad.

-DEEP PURPLE

KEEP SMILING

2009-03-13T10:31:00.001+04:00

Deftly she walks in little hurried steps,

Dispelling gloom with her glittery smile.

Light reflects from her pearly whites,

Illuminating me each fortunate time.

Like a Lotus in a dreary mudpond,

She beautifies each thing around.

Gets you addicted quick-fast

And sweeps you off the still ground.

Lucky am I to have met her.

I wish to part with her never.

Grow old girl, wrinkle and crinkle,

But keep that smile on forever.

MONKEY ANGEL

2009-03-10T11:38:00.004+04:00

To you Nikky, deservedly the sweetest creature on earth. The gift's awesome. Many thanks!!!

Red bum-faced monkey
Resides inside her.
Showing off only to special me.
Proudly, what alone I can see.

On the outside;
Sophisticated Accented Manicured.
And rose tinted extra large glares
To shield all perverted stares.

Foul-mouthed and noodle-eater.
Royal nakras to annoy me.
Treats me like her chauffeur.
But I wouldn't rather be without her.

MORNING DARK

2009-03-05T15:38:00.005+04:00

I open my eyes to darkness.
There's nothing I wish to see but you.
I run my hand on
The other side of bed
The empty side,
The sheets still impressioning you.
Through watery eyes and runny nose
I hold your dupatta close.
Left behind, forgotten-on-purpose.
I take in your fragrance.
Your memories shared.
My sweeter side of life.
Only time I felt alive.
I jab the knife in my eyes.
I open my eyes to darkness.
There's nothing I wish to see but you.

JOURNEY OF A LIFETIME

2009-01-12T12:36:00.002+04:00

I knew something unexpected was going to happen when a cat crossed my path. Damn pussy!! Its not as if I believe in superstitions but this was so like one of those days when you wake up with a strange feeling and each innocuous happening around seems as one big conspiracy against you. So much for my paranoid mind!!! I am already late. As always! And I am in a hurry walking two steps at a time desperately trying to avoid bumping into people especially the machimar bais and the gelled gay pickpockets loitering around at the station and like always there's too much of gardi.

Even before the train enters the station I can see people alighting and boarding, defying the universal law of inertia. But so is life here. A struggle against all laws -local and universal, legal and illegal. I need to act soon or I will be left stranded. I stand amongst the crowd and get pushed in without any effort of my own.

The mood inside is precipital. People stick in like maggots crowding in, holding on, hanging out. A fan blurs in above spewing out a hot torrent of air. A cacophony of voices fills in the crowded compartment as I try hard to get my bearings. Its only after a couple of stations past where more people get in reiterating the idea that space is infinite do I realise that I am actually standing on somebody's feet. But he has other things to think of for his face is being smashed between two smelly armpits. He reminds me of Shahrukh's character from his latest movie. This is the classic middle class man who leaves home in the morning listening to the tantrums of his wife and travels for hours in dingy trains suffocating himself to death, as his elder son surfs porn after smoking weed and his daughter is making plans of eloping with their call-center-employee neighbour, only to reach his workplace and be totally humiliated by his manic boss. As evening falls he makes his way back home to his dysfunctional family through the same frustrating bheed and as he lies down at bed at night, he questions his own worth in the world. This continues until he drops dead but it hardly matters. The world keeps spinning around.

Time flies to the tune of the clickety-click of the trains and I wonder where I have reached. I try hard not to give kamasutra poses but to no avail. Something hard sticks to my behind and before my mind can comprehend, the slick looking guy behind me whips out his blackberry from his front trouser pocket and holds it apologetically. Blackberry people traveling in trains too!! What has the world come to?! People lean left right and centre on me and there's this guy who keeps dripping spittle on my shirt as he sleeps nonchalantly amidst this chaos. Looking at his peacedom I hardly have the heart to wake him up. I let him dream on.

As the train chugs in at some station people gear up at the door and I get some place to breathe at the other end. And then I sight her. At the opposite station she stands, waiting for her train to arrive. I do not know who she is but she is just the sort of person I have been envisaging in my dreams each night. Clad in a bright red-orange salwar-kameez that accentuates her curves she waits, rather impatiently, with a hand at the hips. I love the way her nose crinkles as she looks at the far distance. I crane my neck to have a better view and she looks at me. For a moment our eyes meet and I feel a connection that transcends logic. Time stands still and the hullabaloo around fades away. Through her mascara eyes she radiates positivism and love which fills in each molecule of me. I feel my feet soar above the steel footboard and an aura of happiness envelops me. The train starts moving but our eyes stick to each other till the bend. Suddenly, I am not nerved by my surroundings. I feel like hugging each person around. I start hearing laughter around, which I had never noticed before. People in here, though quite stressed now seem joyous, as this journey is a part of their lives too. The physical exertion no longer tires me. The train crosses a river and a cool breeze wafts in and vivifies my senses. All of a sudden my entire outlook toward life has changed. That one moment has made me believe that there are better things in life to live for. I feel rejuvenated and refreshed and my zeal for life has doubled.

Babe, I don't care who you are but I am overtly thankful to you for making my day. Cheers!!

QUOTABLE QUOTES

2009-01-06T13:36:00.001+04:00

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
Hunter S. Thompson

"Never tell anyone that you're writing a book, going on a diet, exercising, taking a course, or quitting smoking. They'll encourage you to death." - Lynn Johnston

MY FIRST KISS

2009-01-03T15:06:00.000+04:00

By the drowning sun,

As waves crash by our feet.

She leans by my shoulder

As my heart misses a beat.

I coerce my nerves to stay,

Run my hand through her hair.

I slide my face by her.

More than I could ever dare.

As our lips pucker for a kiss.

I do what most would dread.

I burp right at her face

And I shouldn't have eaten garlic bread.

I have now learned from my mistakes.

But I live with a lonely heart.

And whenever I feel 'that' urge,

I let out a silent fart.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2008-12-31T10:03:00.003+04:00

"To be born again," sang Gibreel Farishta tumbling from the heavens, "first you have to die. Hoji! Hoji! To land upon the bosomy earth, first one needs to fly. Tat-taa! Taka-thun! How to ever smile again, if first you won't cry? How to win the darling's love, mister, without a sigh? Baba, if you want to get born again . . ." (.........) "I tell you, you must die, I tell you, I tell you,"
-Salman Rushdie, The Satanic Verses.

It’s the last day of the year and in the early morning twilight I lazily stretch myself and look at the still shimmering stars above. No, it’s not like I am sleeping in the open. I just pasted little fluorescent star stickers on the ceiling of my room. It provides for a much-relaxed ambience. Bapu comes up to me and no, he's not the grumpy-types today for some strange reason, neither does he kick me out of bed with his 'whole day doing couch garam' patent dialogue. Instead he just sits by and reminiscences on the long year gone by. He tells me, as I hear blanket-draped mucus-eyed, about Change. There is apparently nothing permanent except change. Not even my lucky red underwear which I have been wearing since the last four years on certain special tension-walah occasions with actually, no effect. But still!! The world changes so do places, things, relationships, girlfriends(!), boyfriends(?), jobs, bosses, secretaries, moods, mobile phones...they all change. Even people. Believe me. I had more warts this year than last time. Time transcends at its even pace and the present moment slips on to the next.

And bapu leans down and almost in a whisper tells me to change as well...for the better. Now that would pose a real problem, I think!! He tells me to resolve, to pledge, to oath that in the coming year I will do so. Resolutions huh?!!

I wonder! Resolutions are meant to be broken but then in the finest tradition that has been going on since time immortal, I do have to make a list. And I am already up with one! I resolve not to bitch about anybody in the coming year. That’s too much to ask for me but then a little effort won't do me any harm. Though it means less entertainment for my drinking partners while we have our evening binge together and I'll also have to cut down on my colourful expletive vocabulary that I have so specially developed for some people. Yes, nevertheless! So even if you ask me, in the coming year, about say...Maria, I would still restrain myself because of my resolvement and probably shut my mouth off. Because since there is nothing good about her I would have nothing to speak for her. And silence is golden and more times than often, it hints exactly at what's left unspoken!! So there you are. All done! All set!!

I throw away the blanket and jump off the bed and as soon as my naked feet touch the bare ground I freeze in attention. Brrrrrrrrr...its damn cold!!!

Anyway folks, thanks for bearing me this year. Next year is going to be more nastier!! Wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR! Party on!!

Just an afterthought: When I thought about the evils of drinking in the New Year. I gave up thinking.

EVENINGS AT MARINA

2008-12-29T12:22:00.008+04:00

(NOTE: Subtitled: 'The white rabbit dies...'
Location: Marina beach, Chennai.)

This is a sequel to my previous post, "EVENINGS AT VIZAG", but unlike in Vizag where I had come to deal with my identity crisis, its wartime in Chennai.

As evening shows up, I dig my way out from the yellow sand where I had buried myself for the last twenty-four hours. A little trick with a plastic pipe helped me breathe and survive. Sand sticks to my beard which flows down to my belly button making it look like an upside-down anthill. I brush off the tiny homophilic crabs who were till now having a great time tickling my privates. I breathe in the salty air and almost immediately start readying myself for the battle.

My journey from the sleepy town of Vizag to this hot and humid metro of Chennai had been much tedious with me autodidatically preparing myself with sword-play and kite-flying and target shooting using the archaic form of archery which forms the crux of my encounter with the white rabbit. I should have been here enjoying a drink with tiger prawns and grilled calamari salad but so much for life to show its twisted face in the times of such global sullenness. Rage fills me and watch how I flare my internally finger-printed nostrils. I used to bemuse little non-undies wearing children and also at times lonely married fat-bellied mole-faced women with my flary nostrils but as of now I mean it only to express my furor. This purportedly act is to ensure I drive out all demons from my mind. I stand at the extreme end of my bipolarity and before my schizophrenic mind succumbs to the 'world-is-ending' illusionary reality I must take appropriate emergency measures. Even if it means going to war!! With the moon!!!!!

Chennai claims to be the land of the yellow sun. What amazes me first-on is people stand so indifferent here unlike the Vizagens. Men, bear-chested and lungi-draped revel around with women draped with real yellow-gold jewellery at the beach, the Marina- which marks itself as the longest beach in India. At times of low tide with my short-sightedness I would feel like I am in the middle of a desert! And Lo! I sight a sarder walking up towards me. Which itself is a paradoxical statement. A Sardar in the land of Madrasis!! I recollect the old joke in which a Tamilian asks a Sardar, "Tamil terema??" and the Sardar in his grunty voice replies, "Oye! Punjab tera Baap." (Here greater emphasis should be given to the P-syllable in the Baap word in order to have the desired Punjabi aftereffect).

Anyway, Midnight approaches and the people are snoring away, the tide is here and the clouds have parted to reveal the white rabbit hiding in the full moon. Time for some regal action, I would say!

The moon laughs at my nakedness. Not that I am naked in the literal sense of the term but more in my unpreparedly stance for the battle. Its true I did not carry along my Hanzo sword with me but hey hey HEY!! I have the arrows sharpened enough to pierce the toughest of all tough hearts to fight back the parasitic white rabbit in the moon. I whip my armory out in a flash and you can immediately hear a whimpering somewhere. Scared already!!! I swing it in the air and let go...it slips away and rears itself for the much-awaited blow. Watch how high it goes...up up and away! For a lunar experience as no other!!

The white rabbit controls the moon. Of all lovers delight, it wretches their life with its evil red eyes. It makes them bow down to its sorcery. And I with my bow, plan to bring it down. I let out my arrows one after another but the rabbit is not as innocent as it seems. It has tricks up its sleeve. It makes the moon wax and wane and escapes my yellow-frog poisoned darts. It makes the waves rush towards me in order to unbalance my stance but I run. On tiptoes I dance away the fury of the night. The waves crash around me but I have mastered the art of war. Of self-defence. It makes the wind blow dirty sand into my eyes to blind me but I coolly pick on my night shades and requite on. The rabbit brings the clouds in to shield itself but its armour is no match to my fury. I rip run roar into the wilderness of the dark night and all the sparkling stars lose their shimmer and die. The white rabbit picks them up and meteors them away towards me but I hunch and hide and shy away. A burning star sets afire my rusty beard and it singes down in a crackling of a sound. But my determination is unburnt. I hurl packets of wet sand into the eyes of the white rabbit to blind it. It makes the rabbits eyes grow redder with effect. It grumps with fiery delight but soon gets to defence as I strengthen my attack with full flow. The cracks begin to appear. Stains form on the surface of the moon. The rabbit is tiring. The waves have started to cease and the wind has mildewed its howl. I can feel the end is near. And finally, with one crackling shot, I pierce the white rabbit in its heart.

Silence prevails. The moon disappears. Darkness surrounds me. I can only hear the sound of the smothering waves. Fireflies lit up the sky in rejoice. The stars appear twinkling. Aquarius, Phoenix, Sagittarius, Orion, and the much-feared Scorpius. I am victorious. I drop back and fall on the soft sand. I let the glory slowly sink into me as the frothy tired waves come and kiss my feet. They worship me and bring me gifts from the deep sea. Starfish crawl on my belly and bivalves and clams envelop my exposed soul. Sea dogs (which are to mean stray dogs that live near the beach) crowd me and howl at the moonless night. Those tiny homophilic crabs are back doing what they do best. But do I look as if I mind?! I feel blessed and calmness overcomes me.

The journey to the Dark side of the Moon was started by a single step in an unwelcoming direction. But I have laid down my demons and fought with all my heart to come out triumphant in all respects. I harbour on with the knowledge that the moon will be back with its innocent shine and the white rabbit will just be a shadowy figurine as a dark reminder that good prevails over evil.

Maria who is shit scared does not grunt about any photo-shotos this time.

The third and final part of this trilogy will be posted soon.

WISH YOU WERE HERE

2008-10-28T21:19:00.004+04:00

Inspired by the classic Pink Floyd song by the same name, Wish You Were Here is dedicated to 'the only person I ever loved'.

Wish You Were Here.

Angry jaws of bald hill-tops
Echo back your name.
I demystify myself
To beat life at its own game.
Sorrow clouds me
As rays of joy seep in
Everytime I think of you.
And I put on a false grin.
Wish you were here
To banish this damp darkness away
And lead me to wonderland
Before I call it a day.
This surreal calmness
Only adds to my fear.
Of all the things I wish for.
Wish you were here.

(unknown subject)

2008-10-01T08:41:00.000+04:00

Long long time, no see.

Cuz as busy as a bee.

There are people who will miss

And others who will wish.

Against me coming back.

Cuz my posts (they claim) lack

The sanity of mere mortality.

I go beyond their mediocrity.

DEATH'S ANGEL

2008-08-19T09:39:00.003+04:00

Maria the bitch is dying.

I sit by her bedside. Its been eight days she is vaging a losing battle with Death and simply refuses hell to take over. Stubborn that she is, even in this last journey of life she will have her way. She had been suffering for long and Death when it comes with its soothing voice will relieve her of her misery...and mine too. For now when I hold her hand and look at her kohl-lined eyes, pudgy with tears, I feel like the most desolate man on the planet. Helpless Lonely Wretched. Unable to bring Maria back to her normal impish self. I remember the times we shared when she would so royally, without regret screw my happiness. I would cry out then, scheming ways to get her out of my way. How Naive Immature Inconsiderate had I been! I run my trembling hand across her golden silken hair as time bids its final farewell with each ticking excruciating second.

She looks at me. There is no fear in her eyes. She is slowly stumbling into wicked Death's arms. She tries to get up. She wants to say something. But I already know. "I will miss you too", I say as I gently caress her. A tear drop escapes my eyes And then she lets go...justlikethat. No fuss. Her face frozen with that final attempt to speak the last word (as usual).

Silence. Long Silence. Fucking-somebody-make-some-noise Silence.

O Maria! Sweet Maria!! Your memory will waft in the air like oxygen. It will be the essence of my survival in this world. For in times good and bad (and other times too), you will be missed as such the cavity in my heart formed by your departure would be filled by no one. And I will look up in the sky each dark night and be touched by the stars knowing you are now one of them. I will feel the breeze blowing from my seventh floor curb and be assured it brings me love and kisses from you. I will get drenched in the rain which will be your forbearing. The 'Eternal Sunshine of My Spotless Mind' will now always be a tad mellow than usual.

And then...there is a sudden splutter. Involuntary movement of scary arms. *Cough-Couf Cough-Couf* To my astonishment Maria holds her resilience and springs back to life. With one huge gasp of life she breathes back. Its a miracle. She has throttled Death in its own game. I am too stunned to speak. She holds a wean smile and her eyes are luminous with renewed energy.

I hold her in my arms and weep. A thought escapes the back of my mind.

"Fuck, this is such a cruel twist to my happiness. I should have emptied the full bottle of rat-poison in her evening soup."

DAY TRIPPIN!!

2008-08-16T11:33:00.000+04:00

Naked feet, I walk,

On Grass!!

Is it I? I, is it??

Or is it the Earth

SpiNning??

Music of the rhythmic

Humping of ants,

Roars into my left ear.

Right ear tunes...

To passing of the CLOUDS.

Trance??!!

Rain falls in little pellets,

Explode all around me.

I catch a drop,

Slice with a knife.

Colours sCream.

VIBGYOR??!!

Through the airy stairs,

I reach the the sky.

Part the clouds to swallow the Sun.

With darkness around I smile.

Light escapes throu' gaps.

No sound this time.

i think and am there.

i blink and AM back.

So i wink-wink!!

The other me laughs.

i open my wings.

And fly far FAR away!!!

THE TURNING BRAIN

2008-08-13T11:31:00.003+04:00

No matter how late you are, you will always tread with care on a wet slippery floor. And as I trod at the station with little baby steps I let out a silent prayer that I will get my train. And with wonders of wonders, I arrive at the platform to find out that it hasn't arrived as yet. Monsoon-magic!!! I am tempted to let out a whoop of joy. I ask a bystander, "What time does the 08:08 Kalyan arrive?" and he looks at me in slow-mo with sad droopy eyes. I can feel his grief.

Somehow my mood is uplifted. I know at the back of the mind that I am late, the train is late and eventually we both are going to be late but the perceptive thought that I have managed to get my daily train defuses all worries around. The Logic completely overrides Time; ticktock...tick-tock...theek-thak!!!

And Singh who is always on his toes to find faults in me refuses strangely to acknowledge the fact that I am late, again. Can this be considered a miracle? (Anybody who does know Singh would readily agree!!!)

But what have I done here?!! I scratch my ass and think!!

Perceptively I am not late because I did catch my 08:08 train...no matter if I did so at 08:20. I let myself think that way. That little strand of belief creates a tiny positivism which radiates around like light from a lamp. It creates pathways into the minds of other people, overthrows hurdles along the way and eventually speaks what you want to project.

You do not need to wait for a train to realise that a positive thought can be miraculous.

You do not need anything else to create a positive thought.

You do not need anything because you can create your own miracles.

This mind-altering illusion, I know will be shammed by many but do you realise what all you can do with it. The possibilities are endless limitless infinite. But you have to keep faith...in yourself. Believe!! And nothing will be impossible.

Think! Think!!

Each one is born with it though each may perceive it in a different way. But miracles do happen...in little ways, all the time. Feel it!! You may credit it to a stone statue, some girl, a lucky underwear...but in the end its YOU that creates the magic.

Work on and believe. Send a thought across the universe. It's all yours.

Fly, I

2008-08-08T11:52:00.000+04:00

A pair of comfortable glares

A little bit of sunscreen.

Would help you surely, yes.

For I am out to soar

High beyond your farthest thoughts.

Watch me, you will!

WHAT IS AND WHAT IS NOT

2008-08-06T10:20:00.000+04:00

Strands of memories shared

Adds sparkle to nostalgic-lane.

Like perfume it wafts in the air.

My bed is livid with tearstains.

I tell myself, 'I dont love you.'

And who am I to blame.

I cant fool you with this affectation.

Its so outright an excuse lame.

I am such a lowly fool.

Force me into your heart.

Let me stay, cross-chained.

And never do me apart.

Far like a shimmering star,

How I try best to let things be!

Some part of me contradicts.

I do miss you terribly.

SHAMANISTIC

2008-07-28T15:11:00.000+04:00

Simi Shaman with his bolder of a drum

Dances to 'The Rage of the Satan' song.

The beads play to his tune

Traversing the axis mundi,

Making him expectantly vulnerable

To the sights of the surreal world.

Of one's involvement that takes

A lifetime. Worth the projected risk.

Simi Shaman prances the length

Of the room. Feet barely on the ground.

The spirits take on his call,

While he shunts them with open blinds.

And seeks pleasure, he the purveyor

Of life and beyond into the cosmos.

The dance rages, the feet moves,

The music will keep playing on...

BULLET-PROOF

2008-07-14T08:27:00.000+04:00

Thrill filled Subedar Vamshi Krishnan.

His department had the old system undone.

Now with new golden bullet-proof vests,

They were well prepared in their quest.

To capture the dreaded Manick Pal Gill.

Who killed only because it gave him the thrill.

Many had died, shot in their hearts.

Such was Gill's great unerring art.

But the Subedar was now unstressed,

Proud with his new bulletproofed vest.

He will put behind the past insolent scars

And throw Gill behind the smelly bars.

Wearing the vest, he went ahead.

Manick Pal Gill shot him in the head.

GRASSHOPPER COLOURING

2008-07-10T09:17:00.002+04:00

Look look closely-eyed at my Machete,
How it glistens in the glaring sun.
The grasshopper green has turned red
And hopping around in anticipated fun.
The headless women come to me
And beg me for unforgivable forgiveness.
But their pity-patter rainy wailing
Makes me Machete-shove into their rectus.
Silence falls as my Machete speaks.
I work with artistically swish-swash poses.
I cut each one in my forbidden path.
Flesh, free-falling like tiny petals of roses.
Rage has filled me, My nostrils flare
As each despaired soul I send to her doom.
Blood splatters spray-paintlike on the grass.
Red on the grasshopper green dries to maroon.

QUOTE OF THE MONTH

2008-07-10T08:08:00.000+04:00

"When you are young you are given a good view of life, because of your closeness to birth," - Sidney Nolan

NORMAL IS ME!! -Part I

2008-07-04T07:57:00.001+04:00

I wore.
My left shoe on my right.
My right shoe on my left.
And strode around
With wide alternating steps.
People gaped.
No one asked me why?
I walked along,
Oblivious to the fact
Something could be wrong.
I reached home.
Sat on my chair.
I crossed my legs.
And lo!
Everything seemed fine.

EVENINGS at VIZAG

2008-06-25T12:26:00.003+04:00

A first in part of a triology. Subtitled: Journey for peacedom. Location:RK beach, Vishakapatnam.

After being fleeced by Hyderabadi autowallahs and harassed by Vijaywada booking clerks I finally reach Vizag. I head to the beach and sit down; bespectacled, barefooted, cross-legged...its the Lotus Mudra posture. The bikini-clad foreigners come and snap photos around me assuming me, considering my handlebar moustache and beard, to be some baba, fakir, miracle man...of mystical India!! I try not to ogle at their breasts. I stare ahead at the far horizon aware that I am looking at the Bay of Bengal. I wonder if I could swim through I would reach...Mumbai. The world is round remember!!

And in this east coastal horizon where the sun never sets I came to find some peace. I feel the cool wind ruffling my hair. My nipples stiffen with the chill and due to those women around I find something else stifling too.

But I close my eyes and concentrate. I imagine a ring inside a ring inside a bigger ring. A series of concentric rings. And I pick up colours and paint them. Bright red orange purple. I feel peace at heart, my faith is restored. Those eccentric rings are the symbols of never ending joy, strengthing with each one to its core. I light up a fag and allow the waves to gently kiss my bottom.

I go to the beach side shack and order a large antiquity blue and extremely spicy tiger prawns. Heaven! Here I rejoice!!

And Maria blurts in, "Why don't you click some photo-shotos. Its such a beautiful place."

I flatly tell her to fuck off!

(unknown subject)

2008-06-11T10:46:00.000+04:00

N.B.: The author refuses to publish any new posts for a few days because he is a little pissed off with his world right now.

Much more actually!!!

P.S.: He is pissed off most of the time!!!!

SATANIC VERSES

2008-05-28T11:59:00.001+04:00

"You cannot love everyone; it is ridiculous to think you can. If you love everyone and everything you lose your natural powers of selection and wind up being a pretty poor judge of character and quality. If anything is used too freely it loses its true meaning. Therefore, the Satanist believes you should love strongly and completely those who deserve your love, but never turn the other cheek to your enemy!" -- Anton LaVey, Church of Satan.

THE FIREFLY EFFECT

2008-05-23T10:20:00.001+04:00

Lampyridae is a family in the beetle order Coleoptera, members of which are commonly called fireflies, lightning bugs or (ambiguously) "glow worms" due to their conspicuous nocturnal (or, more accurately, crepuscular) use of bioluminescence to attract mates or prey. Fireflies are capable of producing a "cold light" containing no ultraviolet or infrared rays, with a wavelength from 510 to 670 nanometers, pale reddish, yellowish or green in colour, with a lighting efficiency of up to 96%.(Source: WIKI)

And why, so must you be thinking, that I am writing about something as wayward as a Firefly!! It's because yesterday as I was savouring the surreal sights of the night sky hand-in-hand with my partner and professing my profound love to her, I swallowed one. Actually it flew right in and now my heart is aglow.

COME BACK TO ME

2008-05-23T09:39:00.000+04:00

Turn me inside out

and without a doubt.

You will hear a tweet

of my heart beat.

It sings to your tune.

Come back to me soon.

VILLAGE LIFE

2008-05-19T11:59:00.001+04:00

A four part memoirs of my week long official trip to Kudthini Village, Bellary.

1. 'COPTER IN THE SKY
Thorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Flies the helicopter away.
The toothless elders gape in wonder.
The men waste no time & point fingers.
"Helicopter! Helicopter!!"
Proud of something they know.
The naked children run about.
"Ayeayeayeayeayeayaaaaaaa!!!"
The village head calls out.
"Hide! Hide!!
If somebody pisses in there,
Will rain on your heads."
The children scatter away.
"Ayeayeayeayeayeayaaaaaaa!!!"
The pandit sounds the bell.
"This is a bad bad omen."
The children run on its trail.
Trying to scare it away.
"Ayeayeayeayeayeayaaaaaaa!!!"
The women look with dreams
In their eyes. Of a suitable
suitor who will whisk them away.
Thorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
The helicopter finally disappears
Into the forbidden horizon.
The men go back to
Chewing gutka & smoking beedies.
Women back to pumping their chulla.
Children back to play with their chippies.
The village head comes out
Scratching his balls.
Proud of an effort which has
Nothing to do with him.
He has got stories to tell.
Talk & banter. Music & play.
"Ayeayeayeayeayeayaaaaaaa!!!"
Back to their chores.
The village folk.
But today is a special day.
A helicopter came in their lives.

2. THE VILLAGE BUS
A wooden shed 12 by 12
And open space around.
It's the village bus stop.
Hundreds of people
Hustle-bustle waiting
for the bus to arrive.
I am the only one
Wearing shoes.
Original Adidas, is it?
Men with unkempt hair, beard, moustaches.
Women as black as the new moon.
Children, too many
with nose goo dripping from their faces.
Sheltered at the bus stop
From the soarching sun.
I find some place to breathe.
Sleep Squat Shit Smoke Scream.
Everything's allowed in here.
As the bus comes, the people
Attack like scavengers.
Through windows, back doors, on the top!
They hang for their lives.
The bus too feels the brunt.
A tin box on four wheels.
Entering is an ardous task.
Mumbai local trains are easier to handle.
I push and shove, finally!!
The seats are empty, relief!!
But!!
Filled with handkercheifs, empty bottles, bags.
And what do I see here,
A child's underwear too.
The seats are already booked.
Talk about reservations!!
I find some space again to breathe.
There always is, space!!
More space, impossible space for everyone.
The bus rattles away and so do my bones.
I give Kamasutra poses,
To keep from stepping on someone's toes.
I pray for my life,
As more more people push in.

3. LAUGHTER CLUB
I am stared at.
"Sir, Big man, Sahab."
Its the Bisleri which attracts.
Big thing here, the fact:
I drink bottled water!!
----------------X-------------------
WIth pain stained teeth he chews.
And with his palms makes
Another ball of rice and throws in
His mouth with unerring accuracy.
"Dal??" I ask.
And he roars his head back & laughs.
WIth rice-balls in his mouth, it chokes.
But still more laughter.
"See", he says, "This is sambhar
And this is rasam here. Different things.
You mix, make ball, throw in mouth. Simple things.
You want Dal? Hahahahahaha!
You will get Doll, if you insist.
Brightly painted earthern doll.
If you have heart-break,
If your girlfriend run away,
You can break it to pieces.
Hahahahahahaahahaha!"
I have learnt my lesson.
I eat quietly whatever is offered.
------------------X---------------------
"Hahahahahaahahahaha"
They all point fingers & laugh.
"Don't know Kannada?
Illa?, illa??
Poor thing, Dunce fool.
By the way, watch your pants!!"
Its like, if I don't know the language,
Am not fit for anything in the world.
Their part of the world, that is.

4. LOVE'S THE REASON
I work for 14 hours a day
In this sweltering heat.
Travelling itself takes 4 hours.
And yet I am up each day,
WIth a smile, raring to go.
"But why?" People ask.
"Push yourself so much."
"Challenge??" Too cliched a reply.
"Money??" My friends know thats not what I live for.
"Then why? why??" people question.
"I want to see", I say,
"How much I can sustain.
Face torture and still be calm.
There was a time when
I was in love, or was I?
See, I am still confused!!
When frustration ate into
My brains like live maggots.
And I am still alive and
This is not one percent
of what I endured before.
So here I am with a song on my lips.
Love's the reason,
Which keeps me alive."

ROCKET SCIENCE

2008-05-19T10:41:00.000+04:00

A couple making out: Come on. Can't you even undo the hook. It's not rocket science.
Doctors at the opt room: Come on. You just cut open with a scapel, remove the appendix out and just sew it back. Its not rocket science.
Stockbrokers: Come on. If it falls you buy and when it rises you sell. Simple! Its not rocket science.
Maintenance Engineers: Come on. If its not working, first check out if it has been plugged in to the power supply. Its not rocket science.
Sculptors in Byculla: Come on. Just imagine the object in your mind and chisel away the unwanted parts. Its not rocket science.
Scientists at Sriharikota: DUH!!!

THE COURTSHIP

2008-05-19T10:31:00.000+04:00

Padma farts.
And then says sorry.
I hold my breath.
Padma speaks.
And spittle flys.
I dodge each bit.
Neo bows down to me.
Padma brags.
Master bugger that she is.
Open-eyed I put myself to sleep.
Padma cooks.
What even dogs won't eat.
I swallow each morsel
With a bottle of wine.
If only I would have known,
I would never have courted her.

TIRED MORNINGS

2008-05-07T08:45:00.000+04:00

Sometimes I am the king of the world.
Sometimes I feel like a loser.
I know it is the Bipolarity nuisance.
How I wish to break free.

I fight battles in my mind,
With my mind, and the others
In my eccentric mind.
Mindless mind games all night.

This irrationality of life
Puts me off, I sleep
And run around finding an escape.
Mornings, as a result are tiring.

MEIN LäCHELN

2008-04-23T13:54:00.000+04:00

I smile while I brush my teeth.
I smile everytime when I eat.
I smile as I travel in the train.
I smile even as somebody eats my brain.
I smile when things are going down.
I smile even though I am no clown.
It isn't that I am crazy or something.
I am, what makes my life interesting.

MY IMMORTAL

2008-04-23T09:19:00.000+04:00

I wear a mask of sanity
And march toward immortality.
But deep inside my troubled heart
I find no reason for which to start
Life anew, now that you are not there,
It is just too much than I can bear.
Your voice lingers still in my head.
With closed eyes I see you instead.
At times I am so heartily glad.
At times it drives me mad.

SLEEPING ON THE SOFA

2008-04-18T12:45:00.000+04:00

SLEEPING ON THE SOFA - 1
Am sleeping on the sofa.
Dreaming through the night.
I wonder, Make no blunder.
Am sleeping, Don't put on the light.

The moon shines at the window.
The stars out there are few.
The rabbit smiles at me.
I ask him about you.

Far far somewhere.
I know you are thinking too.
Never have known you but
Already in love with you.

DYING LOVE-2
O Anita!
Hear my heart beat
Scream out your name.
I will love you.
I will kill you.
No shame.
{Repeat}
{Sexy Anita: oooooooh}

ANIMAL TRICKS-3
{Naughty Anita: You are the handsomest pig I have ever seen.}

Reason to live .
Reason to die.
You are the one,
Worth the try.
The flowers bloom.
The bees they croon.
I sing along.
Morning to noon.
Look at me dance
The dirty tune.
Willing for you,
Be a cartoon.
I jump around.
The sofa creaks.
Laughing you.
I am a freak.
Pleasing you.
A fan loyal.
You make even
Pigs look royal.

{Unconvinced Anita: Ummm...Now I want to see a monkey.}

Reason to live .
Reason to die.
You are the one,
Worth the try.
Banana tree.
Up so high.
The monkey climbs.
Oh my my.

{Estatic Anita: Yoohoo!! Muah! Muah!!}

SEX ON THE SOFA-4
The Music plays on
The wine tastes good.
The mood is set.
"Oh yes I would."

Undress me and
Look into my eyes.
The good is all done.
Let me hypnotize.

The valley becons
The peaks are ablaze.
You taste good.
I am in a daze.

{Horny Anita: Harder!}

Flesh meets flesh.
Fluid meets fluid.
Strikes the pointed arrow,
There, the naked Cupid.

The sofa reverberates
As I thrust and flay.
You do the same
As you moan and stay.

"You are beautiful."
I say and caress.
"One more time."
"Oh yes! Oh yes! Oh yesssss!"

{Orgasmic Anita: Hmmmm}

SLEEPING ON THE SOFA (REPRISE)-5
I shout my head off.
It rolls down on the floor.
Hands reach forward.
Kicked out of the bedroom door.

We talk about things,
Never agreed upon by us.
Time flies by
as all we do is cuss.

{Angry Anita:
What the fuck baba?!
There's bills to be paid.
You sleep on the sofa,
All day completely unfazed.}

Sun sets behind my sofa.
The night is long and lonely.
She must be sleeping fine.
Home but so unhomely.

I dread the days to come.
Never thought it to get so far.
I dream of better things.
I am sleeping on the sofa.

{Dreaming Anita: &#*%#^}

NO SORRY, NO WORRY-6
{Wicked Anita: I feel so so sorry for you.}

What the fuck has got
To me is the fuck itself.
I wallowfy into the dark
To restrain myself.

But the rage within
Raises such a din.
Balloon and a pin
And a bottle of gin.

Blood splatters,
Bitches scream
When I twist the metal
Into their spleen.

Don't be so so sorry.
Don't sympathy me.
Sorry for yourself.
A day will you be.

{Scared Anita: Yikes!!}

Nobody could dream.
The fate you choose.
The body on the floor.
Whose Whose Whose???

Your sexy pink dress
Has now so so bled.
Covered all over.
Tides of crimson red.

Steel, it glistens
As I twist pull shove.
Just to be sure.
With all my love.

Its so so sad.
Laugh on you bighead.
You won't be sorry
Now, 'cause you are dead.

{Dead Anita: ...}

BROKEN SPRINGS-7
The bugs crawl on my skin.
There is an emptiness within.
Though the bottle is empty.
Life is still so untempting.
The sun sets from behind
My springless green sofa.
I wine in solitude.
The smoke outta my hookah.
My heart craves for you.
Come back how ever you may.
I swallow a handful.
Down on the sofa I lay.

{Ghost of Anita: Mother Fucker.}

ROCK AND ROLL

2008-04-14T09:41:00.000+04:00

First of all, a big thanks to my freakshow of a friend (codenamed InhaleAmole; I am, as you might have guessed, The PurpleFish.) who introduced me to this wonderful-funderful world of Music. From the Blues to Heavy Metal, it has got me hooked. Bapu is worried, "What got into your empty mind that you are so into this bang bang head splitting musik?" Understandable. Having a hell of a child like me will make any parent jittery.
Now I am all set to pen an album 'SLEEPING ON THE SOFA' with 7 songs for The InhaleAmole-the drummer's rock band 'NOSTALGIA' which is currently experiencing a host of problems. The lead guitarist settled down in Michigan and has no plans of coming back to mystical India. The vocalist has got a sore throat due to not that much weed. We suggested he try heroin; no throat problems. And the bassist is in love and only prefers playing mushy yucky love songs these days. We cross our fingers and pray for an heavenly interlude that his girl dumps him pretty soon and he returns to normality. Anyway, we look all set for things will improve for this journey to the dark dark side of the moon has only just begun.
Life Rocks!!!

JUNE / JULY

2008-04-12T09:22:00.000+04:00

There is so much about to happen in June / July that my mind refuses to live in the present. It races forward in anticipation and I already find myself rubbing my hands in glee. I wish I had a remote with which I could fast forward into the future. The events slated for June / July are:

I will finally be able to lay my hands on my copy of the Satanic Verses by Salman Rushdie which I will be receiving by shipment on June 07.
Nicole Kidman's birthday on June 20th and she is expecting a baby in July.
First draft of my novel 'The Bitch Still Lives...' which will be complete by June.
My MBA hopes which rest until June 2nd week.
My salary increment in July.
My trip to Bangalore with friends. (am waiting to finish my book so that I can celebrate)

Max suggested that I should try spinning around as fast as I can to make time go faster. I did and puked on him. There rests his case and mine. I await patiently and pass time counting off the days...

THE PAINFUL TRUTH

2008-04-11T15:42:00.000+04:00

This is what happens when you truthfully answer your girlfriend when she asks, "Am I looking FAT??"

OPINIONATED RAMBLINGS

2008-04-11T14:13:00.000+04:00

A one and a two and a three.
A hundred people as may be.
Some fly in the air,
some swim in the rivers,
the others they simply see.

A plane and a boat and a tree.
A hundred and one opinions as may be.
To bring them together
is tough in this weather,
it isnt all that easy.

Peace, not Pieces
do we have to exist in.
Love and Liver,
may not it ever thin.

Fate and Fear,
Belief is the key.
Ego and Eco,
should be always set free.

Some honey, some candy, some ghee.
Look it as an opportunity.
We need to live together,
Hey ladies, and my brothers.
Then will we be dancing in felicity.

YOU & I

2008-04-09T07:55:00.000+04:00

Marald & Dugaya,
Little Angelus Grumpus,
Sana Lakotia & Akshan Amin,
Nikita Hempton & Max Mathan,
Haroun Dil Nawaz & Ismetara,
Maria & Taraai too.
They all speak.
But what does the I seek,
amongst all the We.

The I is a mystery.
Revealed to nobody,
but You.

FIFTEEN SECONDS

2008-03-31T10:11:00.000+04:00

Plunges a powerful fist.
Shatters my right cheek bones.
Followed by a quick upper jab.
I taste blood inside.
With steady determination,
I direct with force
one below his left eye.
Swells into a purple bruise.
Fifteen seconds is all it lasts.
Marks me a man for life.

ONE JOINT MORE

2008-03-31T10:10:00.000+04:00

Man of substance.
Deadly aspirations.
Dirty game of life.
Hooked into like
saintly devotion.
How much, you ask.
Always, not that much.

MARCH TIDBITS

2008-03-25T11:55:00.000+04:00

Debashish Bose (pyarse we call him Bose D.) is a one of a kind. Being a Manager in Materials is an open chance to earn some extra cash...well actually lots of it. And this guy has the balls to live an honest life. Says, "Sure money is gonna make you powerful...but to not accept what is not rightfully yours is what true power is about. I work hard and that sweet satisfaction gives me something which money can not buy."
Righto Bose D. You sure set a benchmark for everybody with your ideals.
--------------***----------------
The dinosaur came and chopped off my head. I felt no pain because I was dead by that time.
--------------***----------------
Weed + Pink Floyd is better than sex. Period.

QUOTE OF THE MONTH

2008-03-07T14:16:00.000+04:00

Love isn't hopeless. Look, maybe I'm no expert on the subject, but there was one time I got it right.
-- Homer Simpson

TOMMOROW KA TODAY

2008-02-26T14:16:00.000+04:00

Tommorow is a dream. (2)

Living tomorrow today
is a pitiful sorrow.
Sightseeing the future
lying, makes me hollow.

Tomorrow is a dream. (2)

I wish to sprint the farthest ever.
I wish to peak the highest ever.
I wish to seek the bestest ever.

Tomorrow will it happen.
For I will spruce up today.
To triumph tomorrow
I will start living today.

Tomorrow is a dream. (2)

You may have any say.
But I have my escape.
For tomorrow to be there,
today will I reshape.

Tomorrow is a dream.
Today will I enlive it.

Tomorrow is no dream.(2)

WORLD AT MY FEET

2008-02-25T15:00:00.000+04:00

Been there, Done that.
Within the four walls
I sense the world
that so very enthrals .
The truth of my imagining
for me to derive
is enough, more than,
a feel of kicking alive.

I see and touch,
and taste and hear.
I feel and sense
and play and cheer.
What all I desire
I heartily croon
without ever
stepping out of my room.

I have it in me
and so do you.
To wander around,
spot out of the blue.
Imagine and think
and create and sing.
The world is your playhouse
and you are King.

THE BIPOLAR ME

2008-02-20T15:12:00.000+04:00

I am in deep shock. I knew there was a problem but this... Having to take medication does not fit in my scheme of things but now I guess I will have to get a little lighter with Lithium!
Being identified as suffering from Bipolar Disorder is not easy. It means all my efforts, my techniques, my ideas are all quite zilch. It means I really do not possess any super powers nor am I superior to anybody except when it comes to my eccentric brain with which I easily lead the lot. It makes up for a valid reason for my Ex dumping me or my Boss sounding a queer warning everytime or my writings having contrasting patterns and people around, in general finding me weird. Does it mean the things I had done or perceived till now was just an adverse reaction of a chemical locha in the bheja? Am flummoxed spell-bound chup!!
My friends (even the non-existant ones) have the I-TOLD-YOU-SO look on their faces. I had been warned many times about the supposed crack in my topmost sector. My mood swings had got their goat (though fun at times). An alternating sequence of depressing and uplifting time chapters in life is just too hard to take. I join the Britney Spears Club now, but am I supposed to be happy with it?
Where do I go from here? or should I ask 'Where do I stand now?
Maria feels sad for me, but I do not know how to reciprocate her gestures cuz she doesn't exist anyway. Boy, I guess its gonna be extreme Low for the next few days until I can get back to my extreme Mania. Keep away!!

BAMBAI KI SARDI !

2008-02-09T09:04:00.000+04:00

A cold wave has swept the city. Brrrr...Temperatures are dropping day by day. People everywhere are covered from head to toe. Designers are getting creative with new stylized jackets sweaters mufflers ponchos stoles...even monkey-caps. One lingerie designer has racy woolies displayed at his various stores. People walk with robotic movements with their hands in their own pockets for a change, and that’s nothing to do with style this time. Nobody on the streets with people so used to flaunt their bindass attitude with their top one two buttons undone…and females, with no display of flesh. Boy, am I dejected? Nobody wants to latkofy from the train doors, welcoming the warmth generated in the crowed indoors. People crowd around at roadsides taking shekoti from the lighted fire. Couples (not only girl+boy) do not feel the need to escape to Matheran Mahableshwar Khandala Lonavla for whatever gratification. People eat garma-garam bhajias and drink hot tea and this time have got a valid reason for the evening coupla' pegs. Electricity costs are at an all time low with people switching off fans ACs coolers. Someday it will snow and we will have ice golas made of them with flavours of kala-katta and raspberry and orange.

But the thin-blooded people of Bombay are sssshivering…and anything which is not to their liking or comfort is instantly disliked. They rant and crib and phone their relatives in far off places and tell them (with the chattering of teeth for added effect) about the bitter cold. ...while I sit in the loo and crap!
Bapu knocks at the door and shouts, "how much more time?!! Come out and go take a bath.”
Bath! I wonder, with water!! Am gonna be a dead man!!!

IN BAD TASTE

2008-02-05T07:47:00.000+04:00

I know I got it all wrong.
I took my friend out for a drink and while he was not looking, spat into his beer.
He drank it all down to the last drop.
He did not deserve this with all what he did to annoy me.
I should have pissed in his mug instead.

TICK-TALK!!!

2008-02-02T10:47:00.000+04:00

K: Tell me, why is the sky Green?
M: Because it was meant to be that way.
K: Who made it that way?
M: God.
K: He created this planet?!
M: Not just this but everything that ever is and everything that is not.
K: Ha! How do you know?
M: Because I am one with him and I know.
K: Is that possible? I mean He's God!!
M: God is belief faith truth in yourself. He is one and same, may it be a person or thing.
K: Then can I too know Him better?
M: Can you? Thats exactly what stops you from getting there!
K: You mean if I just believe, thats enough.
M: (smiles)
K: Coool!!!! But tell me, suppose, what if he had choosen some other color for the sky instead of green...like suppose Blue?
M: Then...we would have had a real problem! (winks)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

6:45pm
Anita: normal is boring.

7:00pm
Anita: Who is Mr. Normal?

MAD nad oad pad qad rad sad tad uad vad wad xad yad zad!!!

2008-01-16T08:44:00.000+04:00

Max Mathan takes a pin and pops the red blue green yellow balloons he got yesterday, followed by his typical maniacal Ravanwallah laughter from low pitch to high pitch to higher. Imagines his boss' balls *pop*laughter*, ex-gals boobs *pop*laughter*, neighbour’s irritant son *pop*laughter*…
Then he gets up stretches gets ready and goes to work as everybody else.
There is a little bit of madness in each one of us and that is what makes life a little less stressful and a little more interesting.

Famous quote: ‘I am not mad. I just got a screw loose.’

Writer's Block!

2008-01-01T10:29:00.000+04:00

I write.
The book has
run out of pages.
The pen has
gone dry of ink.
The thoughts vapourize,
an empty mind.
I dig my nose
neverending joy I find.

The Bitch Still Lives...

2008-01-01T07:58:00.000+04:00

*The Greatest Thing You Shall Ever Learn Is Just To Love And To Be Loved In Return. -Moulin Rouge

________________________________________________________________________

Sana Lakotia. That’s her name.

I keep eyeing the blinking cursor on my screen as I light up another cigarette; the last of the pack. I cough and a lump of phlegm springs into my mouth from the bottom of my throat. I swallow it up right away. My throat feels parched and I would like to have a glass of water but I just do not feel like getting up from my cushy chair. I try to concentrate and think on other important things to waver my mind as I surround myself in smoke rings.
As in most stories, I have so found out, there always is a solid start from where the story progresses forward but all I can think of right now is the end. I for that matter, to make things a little less obscure, will have to apply a reverse psychology to churn out tales from my ticking brain-as it keeps ticking toward one final explosion…ticktockticktock…Such as would devastate the world along with me, but of course. Until then I got many things to think of and do. It is not as easy as it seems, doing the things one thinks along. I smoke type backspace smoke type backspace… It’s been too long. I have to take a stand somehow somewhere. I sit determined, focused, hoping, breathing some life into myself to bring some meaning to my absurd life. But my mind looms back and forth. I smoke type backspace…and finally!
Smoking cigarettes for the major part of my life has led to the erosion of most of my memories. But one still lives on. A memory that refuses to die or fade away. A memory that has now been sidelined to just a name and nothing more; but still a memory I loathe to love…or do I loathe to detest? Whatever!! Today I plan to write about that memory.

Sana Lakotia. That’s her name.

Six years have passed since I last saw her. That final moment is etched firmly into my mind, a memory so vivid and visceral it defeats the purpose of the passage of Time. It stands out against all memories like a prized possession in the almirah of my mind such that I am left with a lump in my throat each time I remember that day. Gulp!

It was unlike other days. A dull haze hung over all morning giving me the feeling something terrible was about to happen. A dream-like situation where people seem to talk a little too loudly and a little too slowly and nothing around makes sense; more like a nightmare where you do all the running you can possibly do and still get to nowhere. I wonder still how Time affects the scope of things but then now it does not matter because things have already taken place and killed the possibility of an alteration as one cant go into the past unless he is in possession of a time machine which to my knowledge doesn’t really exist unless you have had too much to dope or are then Mr. Steven Spielberg himself.
I lay on my cushy bed besides the wide window with a view, blowing smoke rings and trying to finger them in a backdrop of wild imagination. As the sun set eliciting its presence by disappearing from behind Roma’s apartment- yes, the hot babe who lives right across my room- Haroun came running with news that confirmed my belief that the world was going to end. Sana was leaving, forever, and there was little I could do about it.
Now it was my turn to do the running toward her and like situations in movies akin to this it dint just rain, hell moved apart and it poured. Water as wet as water of course splashed about everywhere, buildings wept, rivers flowed through the roads and the sea roared into the inland but I am not sure of that because I was nowhere near the coast. But that’s I guess how it would have happened if something like it were to happen.
Through this deterrent jetsam, I somehow managed to reach the railway platform huffing-puffing and wet to find a crowd of people. My clothes clung to my body but it wasn’t the cold that gave me the shivers. As I pondered my chances of finding Sana on a probability scale, the crowd all of a sudden moved apart and through the pathway at the end I saw her. I stood there, drenched, bare-footed and ticket-less (but that was the last thing on my mind then) as I watched Sana leave. Silence. All around, except for the beating of my heart and strange as it seemed then it was more like a ticking of a clock…ticktockticktock. Time slowed down and came to a standstill. Absolute silence. Sana kept walking away. I knew she would not stop, not look back but I was so foolishly filled with hope that I still believed in a miracle or some freak play of fate that would make her come back to me. Six years later I still do.
Each step she took further away from me was like a knife stab in my heart. I wanted to reach out to her and how I wish now I should have done just that; tried my luck for a yet another one last chance. But all I did was stood rooted on the spot as the rain blended with my tears. Sana disappeared in to the blot of Time and she took a piece of my heart away. It was only when the train boogied its way from the station did my mind registered back to reality and I started walking back. Marald used to say, “At times in life, you have to let go.” I left things at that just like that and I do not know now whether to repent or make merry.

My relationship with Sana was special; she so blended with my own soul, even the Grim Reaper would have a hard time to distinguish. After she left me my hatred for her eclipsed my love. It burned my soul and I quite lost the ability to love anyone again. Though I have picked up the shattered pieces of my heart I have never really begun to love her again or for that matter anybody else…nor do I hold myself capable of hating her. For me who has always been an extremist, Sana epitomizes the desire to love and to be loved in return in full capability though that nobility has now been lost in the dim passage of Time. She now stands on a transitory edge of emotions where love/hate are entirely incapable of giving any meaning to the bond I shared with her…or rather did share once.
A lot has happened over these six years but my heart still reaches out for her. My heart refuses to reason with the fact that there is and can never be any reconciliation. All it speaks is the language of Love and in Love there will always be another chance.
I walk that dreaded path again as I write on. I hold no fear. I have learnt that the world will still keep spinning around no matter what; a lesson so important for me that it has kept me alive. But today of all days I find myself in the same position that I was six years earlier and that is the reason why Sana is so important. No matter how much I deny she remains still, the fulcrum of my existence. Today of all days, I have decided to relive myself from my misery and to divulge the deepest darkest secrets from my mind that have somehow withstood the tyranny of Time.

My wife left this morning. My dear lovely caring wife, heavily pregnant with our first child probably decided to take a walk and has never come back since. I woke up to find an empty bed with a note carelessly strewn across that simply read…nothing. It was a blank note. Quite atypical of my wife to be so unsystematic in leaving a note or perhaps she wanted to tell me that there is actually nothing to tell me. I have given up thinking what it is supposed to mean. That was three hours before. Having raided the fridge, smoked a pack of cigarettes, watched some advertisements on TV, I have finally come to the realization of how big my problem is; forget about the big part, it has struck me I do have a problem. My wife has left me and I don’t know why. I am worried for my wife and I am hungry. I think I will go and have a snack and a glass of water. It will help calm my nerves and allow me to write without further distraction.
I am not lonely though. There is Maria for company. Maria came to live with us a year back when my wifey dearest took pity on her and brought her home against my wishes. No amount of howling persuading begging would convince my wife to show Maria the door. I found out how serious she was of her decision only when I told her to choose between Maria and me. Maria stayed and has been a pain in the you-know-what ever since. So pampered is Maria by my wife that the equations in my home have changed completely. She is such a bitch that she now thinks she possesses me and not the other way round. Like right now if you were to come over my place you would see me so heart broken typing furiously on my laptop (and smoking away!) while Maria spreads herself over the couch -yes the same couch on which I am made to sleep every time I displease my wife which is often -watching some inane dog show on Animal Planet with such great determination that she looks as if she has found her purpose in life. I will one day avenge myself.
Let me now cut the crap and get back to my purpose in life and complete this story by starting from where it mattered most so that I can get my perspectives right. The end- dreadful and pleasant at the same time- will spruce up at the appropriate moment. And I will have to hurry up my pace because there is too much to say and Time, the fucking bastard, keeps ticking on…ticktockticktock. My wife’s gone and I can do nothing about her. Sana could be dead by now but she would be missed. That’s it for now.

(to be continued)

HO IS HO

2007-11-26T10:06:00.000+04:00

I ask Akshan Amin about his ex-girl friend and he pulls his head back and laughs sarcastically santa-like, "HO HO HO HO..."

Point taken.