THE COURTSHIP

Padma farts.
And then says sorry.
I hold my breath.
Padma speaks.
And spittle flys.
I dodge each bit.
Neo bows down to me.
Padma brags.
Master bugger that she is.
Open-eyed I put myself to sleep.
Padma cooks.
What even dogs won't eat.
I swallow each morsel
With a bottle of wine.
If only I would have known,
I would never have courted her.