ding***

dawn to dusk
i keep thinking of you.
rest of the time
i sleep, and
dream of better things.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

"if only somehow you could have been mine,
what would not have been possible in this world?"

-------AGHA SHAHID ALI in THE COUNTRY WITHOUT A POST OFFICE.

TEN THINGS PEOPLE DINT KNOW ABOUT ME!

1: can touch my nose and chin with my tongue.
2: personal record for non-stop sleep is 22hours. am nocturnal.
3: i hate people.
4: eight of my closest friends do not exist.
5: i have extreme mood swings.
6: zero emotional quotient and social interest.
7: trying desperately to quit smoking.
8: i get thrills from burning myself though i dread slitting my wrists.
9: i secretly relish raw meat.
10: i have a shoe fetish.

NIKKY

yesterday was wonderful. nikita hempton dropped in to see me. all because i had remembered her pearls of wisdom and had posted them in my earlier column. "so sweet", were her first words when we met.

we had fallen apart all these years. rarely met and when it happened all we did was grudge about the weather. earlier i had lusted for her and she had lusted for me but there never had been any soul-to-soul connection which is so necessary for someone in love.

over dinner she told me how much she missed the good old bad times we shared. i could only stare in her eyes in return. it had been so long i had seen that twinkle in her eye-the sign of a genuine feeling that you have for somebody. and yesterday i was just so glad...i could see that twinkle again.

well nikky, you have always deserved that special place in my heart.

THE BITCH STILL LIVES...

am writing a novel-trying trying trying.
THE BITCH STILL LIVES...nothing bitchy about it except the title.
it's supposedly a love story. though far from reality, borders around insanity but keeps me alive so i write. i gotta see how good i can get.

started writing months back in longhand and realised a few pages later my thoughts move faster than i can write. decided against and started typing on a friends computer. a couple of chapters done and he format the comp. lost all data. cant blame him though. people may try to kill me after they go through the full story.

i don't own a computer. got one at home but am hardly at home. bapu said "get awwal number and will gift ya one!" well eating mess food is much easier.

started from scratch again, typing my time out on my ex-roommates brand new laptop. this time got halfway through when his laptop got stolen. like the magician's rabbits that disappear without trace. i wept yelled prayed. was more concerned about my work than my friends misfortune. but then ave become bereft of all emotions now. my heart is hollow and not even love can complete me. i console myself, praise myself, motivate myself. grown accustomed to solitude. people around have started developing a fetish for the good things in life and i sadly, don't figure in their scheme of things.

but thats not the point why am writing this. Sana Lakotia-the protagonist in my story, i wont let her die. i will start anew again and again and again until i have things just as i have wanted, as i dreamt....for i believe in life...following your dreams, failures notwithstanding, is more important than moolah, sex and vodka put together.

THINGS PEOPLE DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Q>WHAT DO PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY GO NUTS??
A> THEY MAKE FUNNY FACES!!


MEET ALI KHAN, FINAL YR MECHANICAL STUDENT...
POSTED WITH PERMISSION



















FEEL FREE TO POST COMMENTS. IF THERE ARE GOOD RESPONSES ALI PROMISES FOR FUNNY FACES PART TWO!

LIFE MOVES ON...

in the realms of the solitudes,
the moon as it shines a silvery grey,
i await, even as life moves on
perverse to my wishes.
this heart keeps crying away
in the primal fear of fickleness.
it needs love to savour life
and most seminal of all, understanding.
choices have been many,
all these years and
so has destiny played its part.
but now regrets are none.
i have walked miles the trodden path.
and as life sings a raucous song,
i hope, against all hope,
in accordance with the
radiance of the camp-fire,
of a clearer vision and a pledge
to move on impervious to fate,
so on with vimful zest.

THE PROPOSAL

between
picking teeth
and digging nose
he speaks,

"i sleep
i eat
i drink.
rest of the time i think.
please do make my life.
be my lovely wife."

i listen, intently,
but refuse to shake hands.

NIKITA HEMPTON

Nikita Hempton-long time friend-has an unparalleled talent of bewitching people. A tiny twitch of her lips is enough to ignite strange fires in the hearts of men. Nikky lost half of her front tooth in a biking accident when she was sixteen. Still she smiles and gives me this piece of advice.

"I was at one time completely obsessed with love but after a series of unfortunate events and severe heart-breaks 'ave come to realise that true love does not exist and if it does its only in the imagination of people.
"Love as such that people speak of, seems good enough only when you write a poem or read a tale concluding with '...happily ever after' or see a movie with romantic themes and go red with jealously.
"Love was not made for me but i love,stripped now of all expectations and feel joy even when not reciprocated. I have come a long way to this realisation and if you ask me if you should venture forth with this journey... I would say yes you should because its damn worth every second of it.
" Love is like a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. People know it doesnt exist but they still so wanna believe in it. Whoever seeks with a heart devoid of any malice will be blessed with satisfaction and merriment that cannot be expressed in words. "

I kiss her on the lips. I couldnt agree more.

CONFESSIONS

i have lived life the hard way. anything that can go wrong will always go wrong and so has it happened in my life. but there's a good thing i have learnt. ( an eternal optimist that i remain!!) i have been left with a few people in my life who have stood by me in times good and bad and now i feel obliged to thank them in the only way i could dare. though the idea may seem copied, the feelings from the bottom of my heart ring true and confer no further explanation or proof.

thank you lots...

ROHIT 'tatya' PHUTANE for being what you are and still winning your way out. if a perfect friend is to be defined in one word it should be you.

RAHUL MISTRY- the dude, who always believes i can ....and for standing by me at all times. you rock in more ways than one.

HARSHAD 'bhai-gale-me-tie' JAIN for showing me a friend can care,share and make you laugh at the same time. for all the pranks we played....we make a great team.

AKSHITA SHAH for making me wanna be a better me.

DEEPTI RAO for pushing me always into unknown territory and backing me up so that i emerge victorious.

SANA LAKOTIA for making me believe in love.

NAKUL HULSWAR-my Mona darling, for having the most purest of all hearts in the whole world.

DILIP '$%#@^&*' BALU for showcasing exemplary courage, support and forgiveness and fighting for me against all odds.

NIKITA 'nikky' HEMPTON for living her life and letting me live mine.

ADITI CHAUHAN-the great, for letting me know that the world will keep spinning around no matter what. i loathe to detest you.

NICOLE KIDMAN-the perfect portrait of an angel as i see her, for being my lady-luck.

my grandmother for being the coolest daadi in the world.

and finally my parents. i would have been an atheist but for them.