DEATH'S ANGEL

Maria the bitch is dying.

I sit by her bedside. Its been eight days she is vaging a losing battle with Death and simply refuses hell to take over. Stubborn that she is, even in this last journey of life she will have her way. She had been suffering for long and Death when it comes with its soothing voice will relieve her of her misery...and mine too. For now when I hold her hand and look at her kohl-lined eyes, pudgy with tears, I feel like the most desolate man on the planet. Helpless Lonely Wretched. Unable to bring Maria back to her normal impish self. I remember the times we shared when she would so royally, without regret screw my happiness. I would cry out then, scheming ways to get her out of my way. How Naive Immature Inconsiderate had I been! I run my trembling hand across her golden silken hair as time bids its final farewell with each ticking excruciating second.

She looks at me. There is no fear in her eyes. She is slowly stumbling into wicked Death's arms. She tries to get up. She wants to say something. But I already know. "I will miss you too", I say as I gently caress her. A tear drop escapes my eyes And then she lets go...justlikethat. No fuss. Her face frozen with that final attempt to speak the last word (as usual).

Silence. Long Silence. Fucking-somebody-make-some-noise Silence.

O Maria! Sweet Maria!! Your memory will waft in the air like oxygen. It will be the essence of my survival in this world. For in times good and bad (and other times too), you will be missed as such the cavity in my heart formed by your departure would be filled by no one. And I will look up in the sky each dark night and be touched by the stars knowing you are now one of them. I will feel the breeze blowing from my seventh floor curb and be assured it brings me love and kisses from you. I will get drenched in the rain which will be your forbearing. The 'Eternal Sunshine of My Spotless Mind' will now always be a tad mellow than usual.

And then...there is a sudden splutter. Involuntary movement of scary arms. *Cough-Couf Cough-Couf* To my astonishment Maria holds her resilience and springs back to life. With one huge gasp of life she breathes back. Its a miracle. She has throttled Death in its own game. I am too stunned to speak. She holds a wean smile and her eyes are luminous with renewed energy.

I hold her in my arms and weep. A thought escapes the back of my mind.

"Fuck, this is such a cruel twist to my happiness. I should have emptied the full bottle of rat-poison in her evening soup."

DAY TRIPPIN!!

 

Naked feet, I walk,

On Grass!!

Is it I? I, is it??

Or is it the Earth

SpiNning??

 

Music of the rhythmic

Humping of ants,

Roars into my left ear.

Right ear tunes...

To passing of the CLOUDS.

Trance??!!

 

Rain falls in little pellets,

Explode all around me.

I catch a drop,

Slice with a knife.

Colours sCream.

VIBGYOR??!!

 

Through the airy stairs,

I reach the the sky.

Part the clouds to swallow the Sun.

With darkness around I smile.

Light escapes throu' gaps.

No sound this time.

 

 i think and am there.

i blink and AM back.

So i wink-wink!!

The other me laughs.

i open my wings.

And fly far FAR away!!!

THE TURNING BRAIN

No matter how late you are, you will always tread with care on a wet slippery floor. And as I trod at the station with little baby steps I let out a silent prayer that I will get my train. And with wonders of wonders, I arrive at the platform to find out that it hasn't arrived as yet. Monsoon-magic!!! I am tempted to let out a whoop of joy. I ask a bystander, "What time does the 08:08 Kalyan arrive?" and he looks at me in slow-mo with sad droopy eyes. I can feel his grief.

Somehow my mood is uplifted. I know at the back of the mind that I am late, the train is late and eventually we both are going to be late but the perceptive thought that I have managed to get my daily train defuses all worries around. The Logic completely overrides Time; ticktock...tick-tock...theek-thak!!!

And Singh who is always on his toes to find faults in me refuses strangely to acknowledge the fact that I am late, again. Can this be considered a miracle? (Anybody who does know Singh would readily agree!!!)

But what have I done here?!! I scratch my ass and think!!

Perceptively I am not late because I did catch my 08:08 train...no matter if I did so at 08:20. I let myself think that way. That little strand of belief creates a tiny positivism which radiates around like light from a lamp. It creates pathways into the minds of other people, overthrows hurdles along the way and eventually speaks what you want to project.

You do not need to wait for a train to realise that a positive thought can be miraculous.

You do not need anything else to create a positive thought.

You do not need anything because you can create your own miracles.

This mind-altering illusion, I know will be shammed by many but do you realise what all you can do with it. The possibilities are endless limitless infinite. But you have to keep faith...in yourself. Believe!! And nothing will be impossible.

Think! Think!!

Each one is born with it though each may perceive it in a different way. But miracles do happen...in little ways, all the time. Feel it!! You may credit it to a stone statue, some girl, a lucky underwear...but in the end its YOU that creates the magic.

Work on and believe. Send a thought across the universe. It's all yours.

Fly, I

A pair of comfortable glares

A little bit of sunscreen.

Would help you surely, yes.

For I am out to soar

High beyond your farthest thoughts.

Watch me, you will!

 

WHAT IS AND WHAT IS NOT

Strands of memories shared

Adds sparkle to nostalgic-lane.

Like perfume it wafts in the air.

My bed is livid with tearstains.

 

I tell myself, 'I dont love you.'

And who am I to blame.

I cant fool you with this affectation.

Its so outright an excuse lame.

I am such a lowly fool.

Force me into your heart.

Let me stay, cross-chained.

And never do me apart.

 

Far like a shimmering star,

How I try best to let things be!

Some part of me contradicts.

I do miss you terribly.