tickety boo!!!

am a bomb...waiting to explode...tickety boo!!!
the clock hands keep tickin on-ticktockticktock-on they go. a time will come soon when il just explode...the whole of me...gone vanished disappeared into thin air. oddly though i look forward to it. it could come as a luxury in times as these-ticktockticktock....
flipping channels i laze around on the couch(my fav activity).ave come home for the vacations and it feels good.nice. bapu comes and kicks me such i fall on the floor. "lazybum whole day u do couch garam!! eleven days its been since you came home.outside-voutside dont you wanna go. friends-vriends dont you wanna meet. go atleast take a walk in the outdoors and get yourself sume fresh air. todays navjavan youth!!god knows wat will happn to them!!"
his rantings are justified. ave done nothin but just idiolised the idiot box ever since ave come home. i thnk of going out but then where should i go.i dont even know anybody.my friends as far as i know are limited to quite a few and sume out of them dont even exist. such is my existence i live i sumtimes find it hard to realise i exist myself.
i move out.me thinks will wander aimlessly will try get a feel of the city. i bump into a very old friend of mine who seems very eager to see me as if she s been waitin for this very day. i as always maintain a passive face much to her chargin... howdydowdy we talk about good old bad times and realise the little time we have got for each other. we are chatting up,its been some time, but i hardly realise i keep gettin lost in her beautiful eyes when suddenly she gets serious and asks" would you mind if i tell ya sumthing". well.. ahan!!... my heart misses a beat!!!what if she wana proposes me(though i know that is unlikely even if am the last man on earth but theres still hope inside...u never know...pandora does!!) i signal her to go on.

"know wat dude",she says," u seem quite frustrated with life.not as u used to be earlier" , and then she added something that soothed d burning inside my heart something i hadnt heard since a long long time...someting my solitude had denied me..." dont wory pal i will always be there with you"

am i suprised...am i??? am frustrated for the fact that she thinks am frustrated. am tired dull losing ma creative side to frustration. frustrated cuz i cant seem to get outta it. there are people who wont listen and then there are no people at all. i write a blog no one is gonna read...i got a profile at orkut noone scraps...i move out in my bestest attire noone notices...notevn the stray dogs...goddamnit!!those friendly(yes friendly) dogs bark at you...sniff you leap at you... but they do acknowledge your presence atleast and now when i move they just scurry past giving you a sense of being nonexistent...tell me bro...Wat's the point in living if no one cares...forget about caring no one even knows you EXIST. that's the point. the frustration has built up due to the factor that am struggling with my loneliness and one day it will rise so much that i will just explode.ticktockticktock
i would have never been able to live or die in peace but for such inquisition in my life as it happened today and the frustration will only cease as i begin to believe in myself(with the help of such friends) and life will turn out truly normal. normal in ur sense na-na in my sense. i wont crib i wont cry...ill work out and move on and bump into more old pals and talk about good old bad times and rock their lives as well as mine cuz it is not over until you are over(marald said that...wnt take it from him). sometimes we dont need help advice lecturing...wat we need is wat we deserve and that is a little bit of appreciation and assurance from time to time

and just for that little bit of inquisition from that dear old friend of mine has opened my aankhen and set me to my path of rejuvenation and joy fills my heart. with friends like these i sure would rock the world...i only wonder how god will save the world when i take over...only a matter of time-ticktockticktock....